Never Ask, "What's Next?"

Last Saturday I went to see my brother, who lives in a veteran's home in Pennsylvania. It was his 76th birthday, and our sister Jo made plans for us to go there and celebrate with him. It was a last minute decision to go, and I left a bit later than I had intended. I woke up with lots of back pain that completely short circuited my plans to leave early. When I can't function in my morning routine, I'm sure not gonna attempt a long drive. So I did my stretches, took some Tylenol, put some lavender and Peppermint oils on my back. And waited. And finally got on the road at 10:15. But it was Saturday, so it shouldn't have been a big deal. I got to my destiation in a record time of 6 hours. Instead of the usual 3 1/2 to 4. Traffic was a nightmare most of the way. Bumper to bumper all the way on the Southern State Parkway, the Belt Parkway, and every other parkway for the whole ride. I won't tell you every part of the trip,but it was not the usual for sure. When I finally got to Elverson which is the town my sister lives in, I breathed a sigh of relief. Driving through the town I stopped in a line of traffic at a stop light. My car suddenly began to chugg, sort of like an old train would do. The speedometer went from 0 to 1 to 2 several times as it chugged and I practically stood on the brakes. The light finally changed and I was able to drive, but the engine was sluggish and I was happy to be moving alng...with about 2 miles to go. I got to the stop sign on my niece's corner, and the car went into AUTO DESTRUCT MODE, lights flashing, making sounds no car should ever make, and died. Every attempt to start it up again failed. Now I had a line of cars behind me, rudely blowing thier horns no matter how many times I waved them on. So I got out of my car, turned to face them and stretched out my arms and loudly shouted, " THE CAR IS DEAD!!! GO AROUND!!!" And I got back in my car to call my sister and let her know what was going on. While I was getting my phone out, a young man came up to the passenger side window and asked if I was ok and did I need some help. Intervention #1....... I told him I absolutely did need help, and the car won't start no matter how many times I tried. He asked me to try it again, and then said, "Oh, that doesn't sound good at all. I said "yeah, right?" And we both laughed. And I thanked Jesus for the help. The guy asked me, "Oh? are you a Christian?' And I answered "Yes" He said, "Oh, that's great" And I answered, "What could be better than Him?" So he offered to push me off road and into the grassright around the corner from where I was. Perfect. he was so kind and thoughtful and I assured him that what he did was enough, no, he didn't need to call anyone for me, and that my family was right up the hill from there. I thanked him again and we parted ways and I called my sister. She came to get me, intervention #2... and we made sure the car was locked up. I left the flashers on. We went up to the house and I breathed a sigh of relief. Later on that evening, my niece's husband, who is a mechanic, and her eldest son went to get the car. Intervention #3... They towed it back to the house and came in and he said..."That car is toast. It's done. There is no repairing it. Equinoxes with a 2.4 engine die just like this all the time with no warning. Our family lost 2 the same way." They are going to junk it for me(he knows a guy) and we're sending needed paperwork back and forth to get that done as quickly as we can. Intervention #4. So the next thing was, How the heck am I getting back home? Rental car was the best option, as my sister was not able to drive me and I didn't want her to anyway, and Paul and Adam could not make a trip like that...Adam would lose his mind. HOWEVER..... The next day, my grandson stopped by to see Paul, and told him where he was going. He had just bought 2 doors for a truck he's in the process of restoring, and guess where the doors were?..... NEEW FREEDOM, PENNSYLVANIA.....we did a little searching and found that it's about an hour and a half west of where I was. He would pick me up that evening on his way back.INTERVENTION #5..... That Saturday was one of the most stressful days I can remember. I didn't say, "Ok, What's next?" I felt like it, but I didn't want to invite trouble. I already had enough. One thing after another and I was anticipating more, to tell the truth. BUT... GOD STOPPED BY. In big, small, and unexpected ways and provided for my needs most excellently. He's just that kind, just that good, just that loving. I hope you come to know Him this way if you don't already do. And if you don't, try inviting Him into every circumstance..... BTW, on the way home it was pouring rain. I was hoping it would stop, and at one point, it finally did. I said, "Ahhh...Thank you Jesus,it's finally stopping. The weather report said it would, but it's been taking it's sweet time." My grandson said, "Don't say that, you'll jinx us." I said, "Nope. I don't beleive that for one second, and neither should you." He just said, "We'll see..." And I said, "Yes we will." And we did. Not one more drop of rain the rest of the way home, and that was about 2 hours. Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed the read.

FAMILY.....NO MATTER HOW LONG.....

I just returned from a quick and unexpected trip to visit family in North Carolina. My uncle, who is 92 years old, is very ill. He was in the hospital, and without going into unneccesary detail, he is now on hospice care. We heard from our cousin who told us he might not last very much longer. So I made plans with my sister and her daughter to go and see him. We just hoped we could be there in time to see him. We haven't seen this part of our family for many years, due to sickness in our immediate families and the inability to be away from home. It's a 9 hour drive for my sister, 12 to 13 hours for me. So we decided to drive down together; I would go to Pennsylvania, and then the three of us would drive together the rest of the way. I left at 11:00 p.m. Wednesday night and got to PA in just over 4 hours, 2:15 a.m. TIRED. I went inside and went to sleep. We got up in the morning and took our time getting on the road as my niece had a physical therapy appointment that day. We picked her up at 11:00 a.m. and were on our way. The trip down was fun and we laughed a lot. We stopped for gas and went to a Cracker Barrel store in Virginia. We found everything funny, including how many products had my name on them. Jo, (my sister), bought me a mug and coaster, just in case I forget that I am Virginia. But nobody calls me that. When we got to the house, it was like we had never been apart. But for me, it had been 17 years since I'd seen them. They don't travel due to their business, and we have other issues here that prevent me from being far away from home. (You can't understand it if you don't live it.) We were welcomed with open arms, hugs, kisses, laughter and love. Our uncle was sleeping a lot of the time, but when he was awake he was his same funny and wise cracking self. It was wonderful. My aunt, who is 91, told story after story of when she and our mother were young, how she has been married for 72 years, how big Grandaddy was, and lots of other things. Grandaddy was her grandfather, and was 6'4" tall and about 300 pounds. I remember one time when I was little, we had a pair of his pants. My parents put my brother Al in one pant leg, my sister Pat in the other, and me straddled over the middle. There was lots of room left over. When Jo and I had decided to go south and when we would leave, I knew I needed to talk with my uncle about Jesus. I didn't know what I would say, or when , or how he would respond, but God put this on my heart. The first day there I was able to spend lots of time with him, and I asked him if I could pray for him. He said, "Yes,I would love that." So I did. He held my hand, and placed his other hand on that same arm, and rested in this way while I prayed for healing, peace, rest, that he would know the love of God, that angels would fill his room, and that the peace of God would fill their home. He went to sleep. I stayed and prayed over him for a long time. The next day, we had the opportunity to go out for a ride around their property. They own HORSE HEAVEN FARM, a place for retired horses to spend the rest of their lives. They opened it in 1987. It's a beautiful place with rolling hills, lots of trees, fences separating pastures, and of couse, horses. Later, we spent some time with some of the horses, just because they're beautiful and we love to fuss over them. Before we went back in the house, I was chatting with my cousin and she asked me if I would be able to talk with her dad about Jesus. I said that was one of the reasons I wanted to get down there quickly; I wanted to do just that. I just love it when God stops by and confirms His plans when we don't expect it at all. We went back inside and my uncle was awake. I was able to sit with him again, to listen to his stories, his philoshophies, his wisdom, and his jokes. If you don't pay attention, you might not be able to tell the difference... And I talked with him about heaven and about Jesus. I asked him at one point if he loved Jesus, and he said, "Yes, I do." We talked some more and I asked him if I could pray for him. He said, "Yes, please do." So I did, and he held my hand, and I placed the other carefully on his side where he has pain. I prayed for him and sang a little, and he relaxed and went to sleep after a little while. I kept praying until I felt the Presence of the Lord release me, and then went in the other room to sit and enjoy the conversations and some dinner with the family. It was like we had always been together like this, not separated by years and distance. We joked and laughed and told stories. We poked fun at each other. How I wish it could be this way all the time! But I am so thankful for what we have. FAMILY. No matter how long. God stopped by and knit us together with His love and kindness, and we loved every bit of it.

Beach Encounter

Today, I went to the beach with my husband. We love going to Smith Point; it's an ocean beach and so beautiful! You can walk for miles if you want to; today we walked about two and a half. The waves were higher than normal as hurricane Lee is coming up the coast from south of us. He's not expected to make landfall here, but to just give us higher than normal tides, possible flooding and a big mess if he does. But we were just enjoying our time together, getting some exercise, and collecting shells. I found a piece of beach glass too, which is rarer and rarer here since recycling began and some ocean garbage dumping has stopped. Sea gulls made their usual appearances, and today there were lots of sandpipers. It looks like breeding season was successful for them as many of the birds were quite a bit smaller than others. When we got tired, we sat up near the pavillion and rested. As we were getting ready to leave, I was looking for info about which days the food pavilion would be open. Adam likes to go to this beach too, and once in a while we get him something to eat if it is. Paul kept walking, and I asked a woman who was there if she knew. There weren't any signs. She started chatting with me as she looked online; she was wondering the same thing. She was friendly and wanted to help. We never got exact dates, but it seems they're open from Thurdays through the weekend. Then she started talking about moving back here only recntly, how her life was going, and about the terrible scar on her leg, which I had tried hard not to look at. She said she had a terrible car accident many years ago, and they wanted to amputate both of her legs. She had a severe head jury with damage to her frontal lobe. I said that yes, I know about TBI's, both of my brothers had bad accidents and also had TBI's. She was surprised that I knew, and that's when she told me that most people don't, and they just stare at her scars. She told me they wanted to amputate both of her legs but she wouldn't let them.She has lots of damage, but she's walking around just fine. She lost five years of her memories, including her husband (of that time, but not now) and her 4 month old son who was in the car with her but not injured. I asked if it was a head on collision and she said it was. And I thanked God for resilience and her son being spared. She talked a great deal about all this, that she had just moved back to Long Island a short time ago, and that she was on disability because of her injuries and being unable to work. And that she has a shunt. I told her that my first born grandson is also shunted, and she was shocked. I asked her if she needed the name of a neurosurgeon, did she have one, and she said she didn't have one and needed one. So I gave her the name of Adam's neurosurgeon, and she was very grateful. She said, "Everything happens for a reason, that's why we met today.".I said "God put us together, He loves you and has a plan for your life That's why we met today." She doesn't believe the same way I do, but I asked if I could pray for her, and she said "Yeah, sure.", in an off handed way.I asked her if I could hold her hand. She looked so surprised, and said "Yeah!" So I did, and I prayed, asking God in my heart what she needed. When I got to the part where I asked Him to give her back the memories of her baby, snapshots of times they spent together, when he was born, and things like that, tears began to roll down her cheeks and she looked right at me. What a wonderful time in prayer. That's as far as we were able to go, because I needed to leave. There's a bit more detail to the story, but you can catch the drift, can't you? God stopped by, stopped me in my plans, and met this woman right where she needed to be met. I'm praying that we'll meet again. Will you pray the same? And that He'll send others to walk into her life in ways she never expected. Thanks. That's all for today.

When Your Plan Gets Interrupted......

Well, this morning turned out to be interesting in ways I never expected when I woke up. I had plans with my granddaughter to take her driving. She's learning and is getting better and better, and wanted a third lesson this week. We enjoy the time spent together and she listens to my stories and tells me some of her own. But I was running late. I pulled out of my driveway and almost got hit by a speeder. The car from the south that I had plenty of time to get past seemed to speed up instead of slowing as the truck and I adjusted our space so as to be clear of each other. Thanking God, we all managed to make it safely down the street. While I waited three cars back from the corner, I saw a woman who was wandering in the intersection of my block and a four lane road known locally as Route 101. There's a traffic light there, but she was ignoring it and walking out into the roadway and back again, hands up in her hair as if she was attemptiing to braid it. She didn't have a care in the world; or of the traffic. When I got to the corner, she was on the sidewalk, so I kept going, but as I looked into my rear view mirror to check on her, she was back in the street again. I wanted to call 911, but I forgot my phone at home. I could have turned around to go back and get it, but I decided it was faster to go to the corner deli and ask them to call the police for help for her. When I got to the deli,there was an outside table with five people sitting there, enjoying breakfast and some sunshine. I walked up to them, excused myself and asked if I could use someone's phone or if one of them would call 911 to request help for this woman. I told them her story. They couldn't believe it and wanted to help, and one of the men dialed for me and handed me his phone. When the officer answered, I told him it wasn't my phone and explained the situation to him. He asked me all the same questions twice, I guess to see if I said the same thing each time, and then asked me for my phone number, then remembered that I didn't have mine. I gave him my name and my cell phone number. He assured me he was dispatching officers to the location right away. I thanked him, hung up, and returned the phone to its owner. The people there were incredulous that I had taken the time to do this, and thanked me. I thanked them again, and decided to go home and get my phone in case the police decided to check back with me. When I got to my street, the woman was still wandering in and out of the main road. I went home, grabbed my phone, and then went back to the end of the block and parked a distance from the corner and went to talk with her and see if I could get her to stay off the street until the police arrived. She was defensive and not interested in anything I had to say, and kept telling me that she's, fine, she knows the streets, she lives on the street, she knows what she's doing. I just kept asking her to please step out of the road and onto the sidewalk. She continued along the same vein, and then began telling me that I shouldn't be talking to street people, it's not safe, I could have trouble; things like this. I told her I just wanted to help her and to get her out of the road an onto the sidewalk. And I said, "Listen honey, I just want you to be safe." "Don't you call me honey!" she said. So I apologised, introduced myself, and asked for her name. So she told me and warned me again about not aggravating street people. I asked her if she needed anything, and she said, "Yeah. You got a couple of bucks for me?" So I told her I did, but that I wouldn't give it to her unless she stayed on the sidewalk. This went on for a few minutes, and she warned me again and then asked for the money. So I told her I would go and get it, but that I wouldn't give it to her unless she got on the sidewalk. So I got some cash for her, and walked back, but on the opposite side of the street, because she was now in the middle of the lane of cars trying to exit my street. She wanted the money, but I refused unless she came over and stayed on the sidewalk. She finally gave in. She warned me again about messing with street people as she put out her hand for the cash. I gave it to her and she shoved it into her pocket and thanked me. Just then, the police arrived. She made a remark about, "And now the cops are here.", and turned around and walked right over to the car. I went back towards my car and hung around for a few minutes, and a second patrol car pulled up. I left at this point, but by the time I got to the corner, she had them walking up the sidewalk with her. A third car arrived, and she had crossed the street with her escorts. I went driving with my granddaughter, and we both had interesting stories to swap. The thing is, I had prayed right away for her safety and for help. When she was warning me, I was in perfect peace. I had no fear. I knew that God was with me and that I was in the right place at the right time. She needed help. I gave what help I could, and the police did the rest. I don't know what happened with her, but I trust God with her. It wasn't an opportunity to pray for her or to lead her to the Lord. Maybe someone else will one day. But today, I was there. That's what she needed and what I could give. God stopped by and helped me help her. He put people where I needed them to call for help. He gave me peace and patience to help her and stay with her until the rest of the help arrived. And I'm just so glad He did.

Putting Out A Fire Can Be Messy

Ever wonder what you'll do in the case of an emergency? I do. Will I keep my head? Will I get too scared and do nothing? Will I let the actions of others hold me back? Yes and No. I've actually done all of these. A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to see what I'd do in case of a fire. So, as the story goes, we wanted hamburgers for dinner. I cook them in the broiler when I make them, because they come out sooooo good. We have a gas stove, so it's almost as good as outside on the grill. This most recent batch of Angus burgers has been especially delicious, and so I rarely say no when the guys want them. BUT... this batch seems to have a higher fat content than is usual for this brand. And, as the fat gathered in the pan, it caught fire. This has hapened before, but was never a big deal. Turn off the flame; out it goes. However, not this time. There was so much fat in the pan that when I unsuspectingly opened the oven door to turn the burgers, the flames came shooting out at me. I shut the door quickly, and grabbed for a big pot lid to smother the flames. But I realized it was too small. I also pressed the OFF button on the broiler, but I think it was overheated because it didn't respond. I hit that thing 4 times before it shut down. I climbed up into the food cabinet and grabbed the flour....opened the container, then the oven, and threw most of the flour into the flames. WHOOM! (FOR LACK OF ANY OTHER WORD THAT SOUNDED LIKE WHAT I HEARD) The flames were instantly quenched. Hallelujah! Paul said, "couldn't you just have thrown a handful or two?" And I responded, "NO" Do you remember being taught emergency procedures when you were growing up? I do. I taught them to my children. You hope you'll never need them, but you're glad to know what to do just in case. When you act quickly because of something you learned, even if you never used it before, you do it exactly as you were taught. And it works. I actually used the same technique two summers ago when the gas grill caught fire. Paul closed the lid, but the flames were shooting out and I was yelling at him to turn off the gas tank, even as I ran to do it. And then ran in the house to get the flour to suffocate the flames. Paul had the same reaction then as he did today. And he told me that the flames wouldn't reach the propane tank underneath, but I wasn't taking any chances. In both cases, the fires were extinguised, nobody got hurt, and I made a big mess. So, what did I learn? I almost always ask the LORD for what lesson I might not have seen. And I got it. Sometimes when we're putting out fires, we make a big mess in the process. It doesn't mean we did it wrong. Sometimes there's no way to avoid making a mess; we just have to be willing to clean it up. It can be the same with our relationships. Sometimes there are hard things that we're dealing with, and we don't like it very much. We can choose to ignore the situations or we can choose to try and work things out. Both options have the capacity to make a big mess, but ignoring it can let the problem grow so much bigger. That's pretty messy. Dealing with it can also make a big mess, but it might just stop the mess from growing out of control, like an untended grease fire would do. We get to choose, and we do, even if we do nothing....

17. 31. 33. Who's counting anyway? We are.

Ever have soneone tell you that you shouldn't complain about what's going on in your life, because there's always someone worse off than you? While this is true, it kind of erases our pain and struggle, as if to say we have no right to feel the way we feel. This is really a poor way of helping someone out when they're in a difficult part of their journey. Like our family is right now. Today while in the hospital with Adam for his most recent shunt revision operation, we met the mom of one of his friends from when he went to a program for people with disabilities. She found out we were in because her son and Adam share the same neurosurgeon. One of the nurse practioners let each of us know about the other one. We were right down the hall from each other. It was good to see her and catch up, even though it was about medical issues. She was talking about her son; his 17th shunt revision. As we talked, I realized that wasn't accurate. I told her Adam was in for #33. No, she said, I mean 17 since May of 2021. Prior to this, Spencer had 14 surgeries. 14+17=31. 22 years old, 31 procedures. 17 in less than a year. One hospital stay was 3 months long with several different shunts and revisions and infections and externalizations of the tubing and switching out all of the hardware and replacing it with new hardware. Adam has gone through this too, so I knew without lots of explaining what her son was going through. If I agreed with those who say not to complain because there's always someone worse off than you, then I would stuff all the suffering Adam and our family have been enduring because his friend was surely worse off than Adam is. And he is. But that doesn't negate what Adam suffers, does it? Or how I feel or his mom feels or my husband feels or his Aunt Jen feels as we care for Adam and do our best to alleviate his pain. Suffering is different for every single one of us, but it is no less significant. It tears at the fabric of our faith and threatens to ruin it. It breaks our hearts and twists our thoughts and makes us angry and feeling out of control and wanting to punch the next person who hurts our beautiful one or us and causes us to overeat or not eat enough or over think or drink too much alcohol or strike out at the nearest target because they're our safest target and makes us hate ourselves for all these things rolled up together because we have nothing to complain about. REALLY? Do you buy into that? I used to. I haven't for a long time. Bad things happen to good people, and it hurts. I've learned to ride the bucking bronco of my emotions as I go through these times. Sometimes, I let people in. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes no one has wanted in. We all go through different levels of difficult even if our difficult seems to be less or more than someone else's. Maybe I'm stronger this time and not so strong the next. Maybe you feel the same as some of this. Maybe you don't feel like any of it. We got to go home after about 36 hours. Our friends were staying a day after us, but had already been there for about four days this time around. So, here's the thing about all of this: maybe I shouldn't complain, but in case you're wondering, God never tells me this when He stops by when I'm miserable. Maybe we should be allowed to deal with our troubles the way we deal with them. Maybe we can help each other get through instead of trying to steer each other through whatever is going on. Maybe we can mind our own business if we don't have any kind or compassionate words to offer. You know, "If you can't be nice, be quiet." Today, I didn't have much wisdom as I talked with Spencer's mom. Maybe I didn't need any gems of knowledge to offer Spencer's dad as together we pushed our guys in their wheelchairs as we walked around the unit for half an hour. But we talked about our guys and their sense of humor and how they like the pretty girls, why we both keep them out of program now, how much we appreciate Dr. Egnor and his staff, and how long it takes the boys to recover as they get older. I told my friends I'd be praying for them. Spencer smiled one of his beautiful smiles at me....he hasn't been smiling so much lately. What a gift.

INTERCESSION. NOT THE USUAL.

I have been thinking about intercession in a different way for quite some time. I feel as though the LORD has been showing it to me in a way I never heard taught, or read about before. So I've been listening to Him and mulling it over and thinking about teaching on it and when or where would I do this and I decided to blog about it. 

Briefly, it's this idea that intercession isn't only praying all the time, praying in the prayer closet, making lists and praying for the things on the list, having a prayer meeting in your (my) home, or even praying for people God puts on your heart. It's a lifestyle. Intercession as Jesus practiced it, is being the in between person. It's being between God and another person or situation, being present with people in their pain and/or times of need. He did this all the time. Think of the woman at the well. After meeting with Jesus, she went to town and told the people there, "Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did." Jesus changed her life in one encounter. You see, she was a woman who was shunned by society. She went to the well at a time of day that she knew no one else would be there. She couldn't face the townspeople because of her shame, and they would not have looked kindly at having to draw water from the well along side this woman of sin. Jesus changed that in one afternoon. He went between this woman and God and brought her good news.

Recently, my brother-in-law died. He's resting in the arms of the Father now. His pain and suffering are finished, and he looks on the face of Jesus. He was sick for many years, and he and my sister lived their lives to the fullest during this time, in spite of the medical care that he needed. The last few months were so hard for both of them. He was in and out of the hospital many times, and then stayed home, first with supportive care, and then, very quickly, on hospice. My sister took care of his every need. During this time, we spoke on the phone a great deal. She lives in Pennsylvania and I live on Long Island. Due to the pandemic and her husband's illness, I couldn't go there to visit. So the phone was the next best thing. 

I often found my self weeping after I got off the phone with her. As I prayed for them. The thing is, I wasn't weeping so much because I was sad for them, and I was, but I felt that I was weeping as a form of intercession...I was feeling her pain, her impending loss. I felt it as if it were my own. 

One Friday morning, he died. She called to tell me and said it was time for me to come. We had agreed that I would NOT surprise her and just show up; I would wait until she was ready. I packed and showered and left a short time later. During the drive, I was suddenly overwhelmed with grief. It was not my own and I have never experienced anything like this before. I was feeling what she felt....

The Lord gave me a short prose as I was driving and weeping for her pain. It's short and simple, but when I shared it with her, she said this is exactly what she felt. I'll share it here and leave it at that. God stopped by while I was driving, and moved powerfully on her behalf. I have these few words .....may they convey something powerful to you and may this blog post cause you to think differently too. 

Oh!  The tearing apart!  

spirits separating as 

one leaves

one stays

no matter the hours

the length of time

how long the lingering

it's sudden

the breaking of the bond

the end of the covenant

until I see you again