There seem to be lots of black and white cats in my life. I think there is a pattern developing. I have two of them living with me. They are the variety known as Tuxedo cats because their markings look like someone wearing a tuxedo. They are really beautiful too. I adopted one from the pound. The other one came from the woods out back. Someone dumped her or lost her when she was very little. It is a long story on this one, but I will sum it up by saying that although we tried to adopt her OUT she is still here. There is a stray of the same variety that visits the yard occasionally. I think he belongs to one of the neighbors who lives up the block, but I am not sure. My cats are not happy when he comes around.
A few weeks ago, there was a little black cat running around the yard. She would zip through like greased lightning and hide under one of the sheds. I thought her left front leg was badly broken as it would flop up and down when she ran. I started feeding her and after the second day, she let me near her when I brought out her food in the early evening. Afterwards she came out of hiding and was a ball of love and purrs. She had a spot of white on her chest. Her leg wasn't broken, much to my relief, but she had been born with a deformity. Although she couldn't walk or run on it because it was shorter than the other one and had no elbow joint, she did use it for balance and the paw worked fine. I really wanted to keep her, but my husband would not hear of it. Since you don't break up a 41 year marriage for even the most affectionate and adorable cat, I let go. I have promised Paul that we would not have 3 cats at one time again, and he held me to my word. I also had heard from the Lord regarding this; in a post from a ministry I follow, there was encouragement to let go of things that seem important to you because God has something better. I was really sad about it, but I found a rescue who provided vet care and she is now in a cage-free shelter awaiting adoption. I have no doubt that she will not be there for long. Everyone who meets her loves her.
The following week there was a demonstration in front of the U.N., supporting Israel and against a Palestinian state being allowed to form without conforming to the U.N. requirements. You probably never heard anything about it as the media does not cover such things, but it was estimated that there were more than 3,000 Christian, Jews, Muslims and Hindus in attendance. I know because I was there. It was important to me, and more important than the cat. My husband was happy to let me go, by myself, on trains and subways into Manhattan. That was the hand of God, I can tell you for sure. It was one of those times when you know for sure that you are in the right place, in God's timing, and something changes in you; you feel a shift has happened.
Tonight there was another black and white cat. This was a tiny kitten on the side of the Sunrise Highway service road; a very dangerous and busy stretch of roadway. In spite of the traffic coming up to the light, I stopped my car and put my hazard lights on. I got out hoping to pick it up and take it home. I tried to catch the poor thing, but it would not come near me. Cars began to swerve around me to get to the intersection. I kept calling to the kitten and trying to catch it, waiting for the horns to start blaring, but it would not come. It finally squeezed back through the cyclone fence, and was safe for the time being. I collected the food dishes that someone had left for it and put them on the inside of the fence where it would be safer. I hoped whoever had been feeding it would do the same. I felt terrible. As I turned around, expecting to see angry faces, the woman in the car that was now at an angle in front of me asked "Did you catch it?" I replied "No, it wouldn't come to me." She asked if it had gone through the fence, and I replied that it had. She waved. I turned again to get into my car and there was a man in a big SUV. I again expected frowns and grumbles, but he also asked if I was able to catch it. I replied again that I hadn't and he just said "Oh, too bad." I got back in my car and I have to admit I was really surprised. It was rush hour traffic and the light we were at takes forever to get past. People are always in such a hurry and impatient as they just want to get home. I turned at the corner to continue on my way to my destination and I got more and more upset. By the time I got to the next traffic light, tears were forming...and I was fighting to control them.
You can't blame everything on menopause, and I was asking the Lord what was going on. I heard Him ask me, very clearly, "Do you do well to be sad about the kitten?" And I said, "Yes Lord, I think I do. But I don't know why, except that I am afraid it will get hit by a car and killed." Silence. Now I was crying and feeling awful. The poor little thing. Who would just dump a baby like that? Or was it born wild and the mother was dead? What ever the truth is, I will never know. I was waiting on the Lord to speak as I continued driving. I was listening to some really great worship music and trying to get my head together as I was going to an outreach at a local cafe. I wouldn't be much good if I was still upset when I got there.
It was about 15 minutes before I heard from Him again. It went something like this. I can't quote because it was more of a knowing deep inside than spoken words.
The way that I was feeling about the kitten is the way that the Lord feels about those who are lost. There are those that He calls to, but they just will not come. They are too afraid. He tries and tries to catch them with His love, but they will not come. He still loves them; His heart is broken over them. They choose what seems like freedom instead of the Savior. Just as I couldn't save the kitten, no matter how hard I tried, He can't save the ones who run from Him. But still He tries. And loves.
I spoke with a friend about it, and my feeling of frustration...what do I do with all this? He simply asked what I thought...and I said "Pray." He reminded me of a prophetic word I received a few years ago and had shared with him. "You will accomplish more by your prayers than by your involvement.." True. Sigh. So hard for me as I am so much more of a Martha (worker) than a Mary (one who sits at the feet of Jesus).
As I have been writing this, the thing that ties it all together are the cats and the Lord. There are 5 cats. Five is the number of grace. Although the cats are all black and white, things with God are not always so. There are absolute truths to who He is and the most important one is that God is Love. He loves me and He gives me grace to pray when it isn't easy, if I will listen to His call. The grace is there, but I need to respond to it. The love is there, but I need to respond to it. God stopped by in my car this evening, and taught me more about His love than I have learned in a long time. Head knowledge became heart knowledge. Knowing He loves the lost and feeling His love for the lost are quite different from each other. I'm glad I asked.
A few weeks ago, there was a little black cat running around the yard. She would zip through like greased lightning and hide under one of the sheds. I thought her left front leg was badly broken as it would flop up and down when she ran. I started feeding her and after the second day, she let me near her when I brought out her food in the early evening. Afterwards she came out of hiding and was a ball of love and purrs. She had a spot of white on her chest. Her leg wasn't broken, much to my relief, but she had been born with a deformity. Although she couldn't walk or run on it because it was shorter than the other one and had no elbow joint, she did use it for balance and the paw worked fine. I really wanted to keep her, but my husband would not hear of it. Since you don't break up a 41 year marriage for even the most affectionate and adorable cat, I let go. I have promised Paul that we would not have 3 cats at one time again, and he held me to my word. I also had heard from the Lord regarding this; in a post from a ministry I follow, there was encouragement to let go of things that seem important to you because God has something better. I was really sad about it, but I found a rescue who provided vet care and she is now in a cage-free shelter awaiting adoption. I have no doubt that she will not be there for long. Everyone who meets her loves her.
The following week there was a demonstration in front of the U.N., supporting Israel and against a Palestinian state being allowed to form without conforming to the U.N. requirements. You probably never heard anything about it as the media does not cover such things, but it was estimated that there were more than 3,000 Christian, Jews, Muslims and Hindus in attendance. I know because I was there. It was important to me, and more important than the cat. My husband was happy to let me go, by myself, on trains and subways into Manhattan. That was the hand of God, I can tell you for sure. It was one of those times when you know for sure that you are in the right place, in God's timing, and something changes in you; you feel a shift has happened.
Tonight there was another black and white cat. This was a tiny kitten on the side of the Sunrise Highway service road; a very dangerous and busy stretch of roadway. In spite of the traffic coming up to the light, I stopped my car and put my hazard lights on. I got out hoping to pick it up and take it home. I tried to catch the poor thing, but it would not come near me. Cars began to swerve around me to get to the intersection. I kept calling to the kitten and trying to catch it, waiting for the horns to start blaring, but it would not come. It finally squeezed back through the cyclone fence, and was safe for the time being. I collected the food dishes that someone had left for it and put them on the inside of the fence where it would be safer. I hoped whoever had been feeding it would do the same. I felt terrible. As I turned around, expecting to see angry faces, the woman in the car that was now at an angle in front of me asked "Did you catch it?" I replied "No, it wouldn't come to me." She asked if it had gone through the fence, and I replied that it had. She waved. I turned again to get into my car and there was a man in a big SUV. I again expected frowns and grumbles, but he also asked if I was able to catch it. I replied again that I hadn't and he just said "Oh, too bad." I got back in my car and I have to admit I was really surprised. It was rush hour traffic and the light we were at takes forever to get past. People are always in such a hurry and impatient as they just want to get home. I turned at the corner to continue on my way to my destination and I got more and more upset. By the time I got to the next traffic light, tears were forming...and I was fighting to control them.
You can't blame everything on menopause, and I was asking the Lord what was going on. I heard Him ask me, very clearly, "Do you do well to be sad about the kitten?" And I said, "Yes Lord, I think I do. But I don't know why, except that I am afraid it will get hit by a car and killed." Silence. Now I was crying and feeling awful. The poor little thing. Who would just dump a baby like that? Or was it born wild and the mother was dead? What ever the truth is, I will never know. I was waiting on the Lord to speak as I continued driving. I was listening to some really great worship music and trying to get my head together as I was going to an outreach at a local cafe. I wouldn't be much good if I was still upset when I got there.
It was about 15 minutes before I heard from Him again. It went something like this. I can't quote because it was more of a knowing deep inside than spoken words.
The way that I was feeling about the kitten is the way that the Lord feels about those who are lost. There are those that He calls to, but they just will not come. They are too afraid. He tries and tries to catch them with His love, but they will not come. He still loves them; His heart is broken over them. They choose what seems like freedom instead of the Savior. Just as I couldn't save the kitten, no matter how hard I tried, He can't save the ones who run from Him. But still He tries. And loves.
I spoke with a friend about it, and my feeling of frustration...what do I do with all this? He simply asked what I thought...and I said "Pray." He reminded me of a prophetic word I received a few years ago and had shared with him. "You will accomplish more by your prayers than by your involvement.." True. Sigh. So hard for me as I am so much more of a Martha (worker) than a Mary (one who sits at the feet of Jesus).
As I have been writing this, the thing that ties it all together are the cats and the Lord. There are 5 cats. Five is the number of grace. Although the cats are all black and white, things with God are not always so. There are absolute truths to who He is and the most important one is that God is Love. He loves me and He gives me grace to pray when it isn't easy, if I will listen to His call. The grace is there, but I need to respond to it. The love is there, but I need to respond to it. God stopped by in my car this evening, and taught me more about His love than I have learned in a long time. Head knowledge became heart knowledge. Knowing He loves the lost and feeling His love for the lost are quite different from each other. I'm glad I asked.
4 comments:
Wow! I had tears for that kitten, Ginnie! I am so glad you asked God the why to this one. It surely gets us a bit closer to seeing what God is doing and how he thinks of us.
I really love your writings. I got so emotionally involved with this one as well. We have had stray cats on my block for the past week or so. One of the kittens was all by itself and was too afraid to come near me. A few days later I saw his/her family on the road and the kitten was watching from a distance. It really made me so upset. I tried to reunite them but I think one of the other kittens tried to attack the one that was by itself. They were all scared. Especially the mother cat and funny thing is she was black and white...and the total cats (including her) was 5. Something to think about. Thanks for sharing again.
"let go of things that seem important to you because God has something better"
thanks - I needed to hear that today
~jessie
thanks for posting, girls. It's nice to know, once in a while, who is actually reading and if it touches someone. :0} Love, Ginnie
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