SPICKA-ME AND FLUTTERFLIES

I love watching and listening to little ones as they're learning to speak. They hear it right, but sometimes, something gets lost in the translation. Sometimes, I like their words better than the real ones. Sometimes, their words are funnier and also unrepeatable!

I remember when my youngest daughter was learning to speak in sentences, and came running to tell me, 'Mommy! Mommy! I just saw a f--k!" "WHAT!"  "I just saw a f--k!"  I spent a considerable amount of time coaching her on the word "truck". She hadn't been able to say the blended consonants, but by the end of the game I made up and the afternoon, she had it down pat.
I bet every family has similar stories to tell, some of which take place in the most awkward moments, like the middle of a crowded store, or a party, or maybe at church.
But there are some that are endearing, and one from last year that I hated to see change. Maggie was two and a half last summer, and speaking well for her age, with the usual confusing of words and switching around of syllables.

One afternoon when she was here at our house, and it was time for watching t.v., I asked her what she wanted to watch and she said, "I watch spicka-me." I had no idea what she was talking about. "What do you want, Maggie?" I wan spicka-me." " I'm sorry, I don't know what that is. Can we try something else?" "Yes you do,", she insisted. We went around a few more times, with Maggie insisting that I knew what it was and that I had it . "Can we please watch something else, Maggie?". Well, that was not a choice, but since I didn't know what she wanted, she settled for Spy Kids...."the robot one".  When her mom came to pick her up, I asked her for the interpretation. She broke out laughing and said, "She wants to watch Despicable Me." I almost lost it over that....she was perfectly clear....however, we did NOT have that one. This year, she asks quite clearly for whatever she wants, and that makes things easier, but not as funny.

Last year, when we were outside enjoying the sun, the pool, and the flowers and bugs, she loved watching the "flutterflies". Even I knew what she meant. We have lots of different ones to see and she delights in all of them. She would sit in the window seat in our den and look out back to see if she could see them when we were in the house. "Look Grammie! There's a flutterfly. And there's another one". I loved her word for them; it somehow seemed more fitting than butterfly. And more descriptive to what they are, don't you agree?
Alas, when she spotted the first one this year, the baby language was gone, and they are now butterflies. She still takes delight in seeing them, but I am saddened at the loss of the other oh so wonderful word.

Every mother of grown children will advise every mother of a newborn to enjoy it while it lasts; childhood is so fleeting. And it truly is. I often wish I had written down the things that my children said and did, and the things that my older grandchildren have said and done. It is so fleeting, and so is my memory. But most of the time, I was too busy raising them to think of that. The truth is, I still am most of the time.

Flutterfly. A great word. I think I'll always remember this one. Even if it's gone from everyday speech, it's in my heart.


 

Sometimes, When It Rains, It POURS!

The other morning, I was rudely awakened by the sound of an extremely loud crack of lightening, followed immediately by booming thunder. I jumped up so fast I nearly fell out of bed.It was pouring down rain, so hard that it was difficult to see across to the other side of our street. My thoughts immediately went to the Oklahomans and what it must have been like for them as they rode out the 40 minute massive tornado that caused so much destruction and heartache. I began praying peace into the storm; Jesus did this, and he said we would do even greater things than he did...so I take him at his word regarding storms. It did quiet down and I went back to sleep for a while longer.
The last six months have been storm season at our house. It was a long, cold winter, and it was also full of sickness. It all started on November 5th..........

Just a typical day, kids, busyness, family over for dinner together. Adam had been pacing and then went into his room and we heard a THUMP. As we went running for his room, he started yelling; he fell down, was hurt and he was sitting in the middle of his floor. That isn't unusual, he usually can't get up when he falls. I checked him over and couldn't see anything bruised or bleeding, and so I tried to help him rise, but he was now crying from the pain and refused to bear any weight on his left foot. Adam never cries. I lifted him, encouraging him to put his right leg down, and was able to get him onto his bed. Now his knee was beginning to swell, but no bruising. I got him into his wheelchair and applied cool compresses as much as he would allow, and gave him some acetaminophen. He continued to be uncomfortable, and would not stand. I took off his shoes and braces and let him rest. He slept o.k. that night. It was Friday and I waited to take him to his orthopedic on Monday. (No way we were going to the E.R. Not worth it unless Adam is in a dangerous state of shunt malfunction or a much worse level of accident. Too much to go into here.) X-rays showed no fracture, and it was determined to be a bone contusion. He'd get better. We went to the orthotist for a splint. That turned out to be much worse than  rest alone, so after multiple tries and adjustments on our part over the next few days, we abandoned the splint for rest alone.

To make a long story much shorter, Adam did not improve. We took him to his physiatrist (that's a doctor who specializes in rehab) for an eval for physical therapy after a repeat visit to his orthopedic who retook x-rays and said it's still the same and doesn't show any sign of fracture; go for physical therapy to strengthen the quads and better support the knee joint. The physiatrist had her orthopedic take a look at him and he said he thought he tore some ligaments. But he doesn't know Adam and actually, we left his practice many years ago as he was negligent in Adam's care. But the physiatrist said "No P.T. Let him rest and go back to the orthodoc in a few weeks."

 Two months later,  Adam still was not better. We returned to the orthodoc and still nothing in the x-rays, but he suspected a stress fracture and ordered an MRI, which the insurance company approved. Diagnosis: stress fracture and bone contusion:left tibia. no sign of healing. Physical therapy prescribed and also calcitonin nasal spray which is supposed to help the body drive calcium to the bones for healing.

In between all this, in January, Adam had a G.I. bleed. This required a visit to the gastroenterologist and an endoscopy. Diagnosis: ulcer. Not his first bleed, but first time where an ulcer was actually seen. sigh.


Doesn't seem like I even shortened this does it?


Over this winter, he also had the flu, three colds and a stomach virus.

On April 21st, Adam had a violent headache. I sat with him for a long time at bedtime, and he went to sleep and slept fitfully that night, He woke up coughing and calling for help; I ran to his room expecting a G.I. bleed, because that's what happens when he has one, but he vomited normally and then laid back down and said,"I feel so sick." and turned his face to the wall. He was white as a sheet. He also wet himself and began twitching; a probable seizure. I took care of him, called all family members who were needed for differing reasons, and took him to the E.R. Suspected shunt malfunction. He had c.t.scans, x-rays, blood work and blood cultures, urinalysis and and EEG. The only thing that showed up was a urinary tract infection. All scans were approximately the same as his last series had been. Adam was hospitalized for the UTI and we spent a total of three days in Stonybrook University Medial Center, with tests, i.v. meds and fluids and then oral antibiotics for ten days. Adam's neurosurgeon still was suspecting a shunt malfunction, but because of the UTI, he couldn't operate; too much risk of infection spreading. Home again, home again, jiggety jog.


Wow, what a long season, you say? It wasn't done pouring over here. Our service coordinator suddenly up and quit her job. In the interim to assigning us a new one, the agency sent a temporary agent. He took all this information and the next thing I knew I got paperwork that appeared to be accusing me of abusing Adam. I called the head of services and got the answering machine. I left a message saying that if I didn't hear from her first thing in the morning, they would be hearing from my lawyer. She called at 8:30 the following morning and wanted me to please explain to her and read to her what was so upsetting about the paperwork. I did, and she was all apologies. I wasn't being accused at all, and consequently, the form has been permanently changed. No other parent will get that scary letter, unless they're truly being investigated.

I was messing around with one of the big boys at church in early May. I went to grab the back of his shirt, and he zigged when I zagged; I broke the ring finger on my right hand, just above the first knuckle.  It looked like a blue and purple sausage for two weeks. It's still healing. ( Adam's orthodoc  x -rayed it for me when he went for a recheck of his leg. Five months later and the x-ray still did not show new bone in the tibia, but he's walking so he made progress. Go back for more p.t.)


I went to Pennsylvania for my niece's bridal shower in May. I drove for five hours, had a great time for a few hours, and drove home again. Too much going on to take a chance of staying over. Good thing I listened to the voice inside that always guides me; I drove four hours and got home at four a.m., and an hour and a half  later, Adam woke up and vomited blood all over himself and his bed. I contacted his gastroenterologist and was advised that everything I had done was right and we could stay home as long as he didn't have any episodes of bright red blood in the vomit. He didn't throw up again.

A new service coordinator was assigned for Adam. We really like her. She's helping us look for a day program for Adam. She wanted to hear the whole saga of the last few months. She was in awe. She's probably still shaking her head in disbelief.

Now it's June; the weather is getting so nice, there are lots of songbirds in the yard; we all enjoy hearing them. Adam's neurosurgeon feels the best thing for Adam is to leave him alone. Unless there's another episode, he doesn't need to see him for a year. Over his lifetime, Adam has had twenty shunt surgeries and an appendectomy. He doesn't do well with surgery and anesthesia anymore, and it is risky to send him to the o.r. ....but that's another story.

So I thank God we have weathered this stormy season, and that he was with us every step of the way. I know there is better ahead of us than what's gone behind us. Even in our dark times, God is always good. His love carries us through all of this; I couldn't ever make it without him.