This morning a friend wrote on her facebook page that her cousin went home to heaven. Her words, not mine. She wrote about how much she loved this cousin, and how Donna had touched her life so deeply. She shared how Donna was always so excited to see her, and hug her and just pour out love to her. My friend recently moved far away from her family, and was very sad at not being able to spend time with her cousin at the end of her life. "My angel", she called her. Donna had special needs; I don't know what they were, but my friend wrote about this in a beautiful tribute to her.
Another friend of mine, who I wrote about a few months ago, also had special friends. She also called them her angels. "My angel", she said about the first young man that impacted her life. (please see MARIA'S ANGELS 9-23-12)
I was thinking about this today. Two women who completely love special needs people. They love them without reserve. They both treat Adam the same way, as someone who is lovable and wonderful. And they call him "my angel". Both are good friends to us, and I appreciate them.
I see the heart of God in them. I wish everyone felt and acted the same as these two women do.
Unfortunately, this isn't so.
I was reading on a page yesterday about a young man with Down syndrome who died tragically at the hands of some overly zealous police officers when he refused to leave a movie theater when the film ended. He wanted to watch it again. I don't know how much of the story is true, but it is terribly sad. The thing that's just as sad is reading the comments on the post. The ignorance of some of the writers there is beyond belief, especially a few from those who claim to work with the special needs population. Excusing the behavior of the young man because of his disabilty as some of them did is wrong, but so is the expectation that he could behave exactly the same as typically developed adults behave. Needed intervention did not happen, and he died. The remarks that I found the most offensive came from a self described caregiver...she called those in her care her "tards". She claims that she loves her "tards" and wouldn't have let that happen to any of them. Really? She loves them? Then where is the respect for those she claims to love? Using the word "tards" as a term of endearment is disgraceful and disrespectful. What a contrast to my friends who call them angels!
The word "retard" is a pet peeve of mine. It makes my skin crawl when I hear someone say that. When I mention it, people say that isn't what they meant, that they're not making comparisons to people with developmental disabilities. And I always say "Really? That's not what you meant? Then what did you mean?" There really isn't a satisfactory answer to my question, because that's exactly what's being said. The word retard comes from "mentally retarded", an old classification that is slowly passing from usage. "Devopmentally disabled" is one of the newer and less offensive terms. I think the classification had to be changed specifically because "retard" has become such a derogatory way of speaking, and is of course, intended as an insult.
One of the hardest things for the family of someone with disabilities is to trust that there will be someone to love and take care of their special person when the family can no longer attend to their needs, especially when that person can't communicate and tell what happens to them or around them. To trust that they won't be hurt or mistreated by their "caregivers". When I read posts like I read yesterday, it makes me more determined than ever to keep Adam home with us and never let him live in a group home.That young man's family trusted his caregiver to protect him, and he died. Even though I know there are some who love, and love well, my fear is that there are far more who just work with in this field because they couldn't find anything else, or because they see them as easy prey.
I hope that as time goes by and people learn that those with disablilities are just like everyone else, with feelings and the ability to love and bless others, that things will change. I hope there will be a screening process that keeps predators and cruel and ignorant people out of the field as care providers. And I hope that more people who see them as angels will be drawn to work with and care for our wonderful family members. My heartfelt thanks go out today and always for those who love our children, and love well. God bless you. He put His love in your hearts and you pour it out with no holding back. You are a treasure.
here is a link to the story of the young man who died . the above picture is not him; this is our Adam.
): http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/autopsy-finds-that-md-man-with-down-syndrome-died-of-asphyxia-while-in-police-custody/2013/02/15/4d752304-77ab-11e2-b102-948929030e64_story.html
http://www.dropbox-movie.com/
Another friend of mine, who I wrote about a few months ago, also had special friends. She also called them her angels. "My angel", she said about the first young man that impacted her life. (please see MARIA'S ANGELS 9-23-12)
I was thinking about this today. Two women who completely love special needs people. They love them without reserve. They both treat Adam the same way, as someone who is lovable and wonderful. And they call him "my angel". Both are good friends to us, and I appreciate them.
I see the heart of God in them. I wish everyone felt and acted the same as these two women do.
Unfortunately, this isn't so.
I was reading on a page yesterday about a young man with Down syndrome who died tragically at the hands of some overly zealous police officers when he refused to leave a movie theater when the film ended. He wanted to watch it again. I don't know how much of the story is true, but it is terribly sad. The thing that's just as sad is reading the comments on the post. The ignorance of some of the writers there is beyond belief, especially a few from those who claim to work with the special needs population. Excusing the behavior of the young man because of his disabilty as some of them did is wrong, but so is the expectation that he could behave exactly the same as typically developed adults behave. Needed intervention did not happen, and he died. The remarks that I found the most offensive came from a self described caregiver...she called those in her care her "tards". She claims that she loves her "tards" and wouldn't have let that happen to any of them. Really? She loves them? Then where is the respect for those she claims to love? Using the word "tards" as a term of endearment is disgraceful and disrespectful. What a contrast to my friends who call them angels!
The word "retard" is a pet peeve of mine. It makes my skin crawl when I hear someone say that. When I mention it, people say that isn't what they meant, that they're not making comparisons to people with developmental disabilities. And I always say "Really? That's not what you meant? Then what did you mean?" There really isn't a satisfactory answer to my question, because that's exactly what's being said. The word retard comes from "mentally retarded", an old classification that is slowly passing from usage. "Devopmentally disabled" is one of the newer and less offensive terms. I think the classification had to be changed specifically because "retard" has become such a derogatory way of speaking, and is of course, intended as an insult.
One of the hardest things for the family of someone with disabilities is to trust that there will be someone to love and take care of their special person when the family can no longer attend to their needs, especially when that person can't communicate and tell what happens to them or around them. To trust that they won't be hurt or mistreated by their "caregivers". When I read posts like I read yesterday, it makes me more determined than ever to keep Adam home with us and never let him live in a group home.That young man's family trusted his caregiver to protect him, and he died. Even though I know there are some who love, and love well, my fear is that there are far more who just work with in this field because they couldn't find anything else, or because they see them as easy prey.
I hope that as time goes by and people learn that those with disablilities are just like everyone else, with feelings and the ability to love and bless others, that things will change. I hope there will be a screening process that keeps predators and cruel and ignorant people out of the field as care providers. And I hope that more people who see them as angels will be drawn to work with and care for our wonderful family members. My heartfelt thanks go out today and always for those who love our children, and love well. God bless you. He put His love in your hearts and you pour it out with no holding back. You are a treasure.
here is a link to the story of the young man who died . the above picture is not him; this is our Adam. http://www.dropbox-movie.com/
