Between the Now and the Not Yet....

I don't hear this phrase used very often anymore, but it's a truth in our lives; yesterday, today, and probably tomorrow. This line of thinking was provoked because I was reflecting on Adam's upcoming birthday; he'll be twenty-eight years old in December. There's something in the waiting-and-not-finished-yet in this fact.

As I mull over this great event that will happen in a few weeks, I'm a bit melancholy. On the one hand, I'm so happy that he's doing okay, and especially that he's still here with us. On the other hand....

At this age, Adam could have a college degree. More than one, if he wanted or needed them.
He could have been married at this age. He could have had one or more children. (I could have been a great grandmother!) He would probably be driving and have his own home, whether an apartment with friends, or a house with his wife and children. He would be working and providing for himself, and his family. He could have traveled across the country or around the world. He could have served our country in the military. He could have run a marathon or two. Or biked along the I95 corridor to raise money for his favorite charity, or hiked the Appalachian trail.
Maybe he would have been a teacher. Or an architect. Or a mechanic. Or a small business owner. He might have been a carpenter or a plumber or a banker or a doctor. The list is endless, but it doesn't matter. He isn't any of these things; will never do any of these things. This is the pain of the families of children with disabilities.

We don't talk about it because let's face, who wants to hear it?  Most of the time we don't even want to think about it. It's depressing. There's nothing that can be done about it. There are no comforting words that will make everything alright. There is no salve to heal these wounds. If we do try to talk about it, we often can't speak because of the tremendous emotion that sits right behind our eyes and in our hearts, and we don't want it to come tumbling out, out of control. If the dam breaks, it's hard to build up the wall again. This is a glimpse into our world. This is an invitation to look, to try to understand something you hopefully never really have to understand.

So what was this all about? Oh, right, the now and the not yet. Everything I just wrote about is the now. It's our reality. It really stinks sometimes. But not all the time.

In the now is also a loving family; a child who tries his hardest to communicate, to keep up with others as they do everyday things like walking and talking. Parents and grandparents who do their best but mess it up plenty of times, sisters and brothers and cousins and aunts and uncles who are in and out of the picture in the day-to-day of life, but always in the picture because they're family. It's Adam's smiling face, his gusty joyous laughter, his hugs and his jokes, his endurance in suffering, and his love for anyone who is nice to him. This is the good, the sweet, the precious, the needed; the reality all the time, even when the bad times come.

We're in between that now, and the Not Yet, which is what we long for. We long for the day when there will be no more pain for him, no more surgeries, no more G.I. bleeds, no more meds, no more watching from the sidelines because he's not able to participate. No more being left out because he doesn't fit in. We long for the day of healing. The Not Yet. We hold on to hope that the Not Yet will become the Now. We hope it is going to be this side of heaven. We don't want to hear the platitudes about God's purpose in Adam's suffering. It's there, we know it's there, but being told this does not comfort us, it just reminds us that you don't know the whys anymore than we know the whys. And I have learned not to ask that question, because there isn't an answer when I do.

So we, at least I, hold on to the hope for the Not Yet. God stopped by today as I was pondering all of this and reminded me that "Faith is the substance of things HOPED for, the EVIDENCE of things not seen. " I'm so glad He did. I really needed the reminder about faith, and what it really is. It isn't something I can stir up, it's something I receive when I hold on tight to Jesus, when I reach out for strength to get through a difficult day, week, month, year. It's there for me when I forget it's there for me, because God is faithful.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I'm sorry if it made you sad, but we don't dwell in this place. We visit it from time to time, mostly avoiding it and looking at the good we have. And life is good. We are truly blessed. We just look forward to the fullness of that blessing that is in the hand of God. Don't you? 

Story Time. Any one want a story? If not, don't read this. 😁

Some time ago, last summer, I believe, I was driving and saw a dog running in the middle of the service road on Sunrise highway. I stopped my car. I tried calling to the dog, but it was scared and wouldn't come. A car hit it. I waved at oncoming traffic and tried to get them to stop. They wouldn't. Two more cars hit the dog. Luckily for the dog, it was small, and each time it was hit, it went under the middle of the cars and was tumbled over a few times. 

I tried and tried to get traffic to stop, and finally made advances into the roadway, waving my hands wildly. Someone stopped. Then other stopped. I was able to pick up the poor stunned little chihuahua mix, and get him to the side of the road, and up on the grass. Traffic resumed, and they were flying by so fast. 

NOW WHAT. I went to move my car as it was blocking the side street. When I came back, the dog began to growl and snapped viciously at me. He was so scared, and hurt. I sat down near him, but not too close. Then someone pulled over and stopped. A young black woman got out of the car and wanted to help. I warned her about the dog, and not to get too close. He showed his teeth to make the point. I told her there was a 24 hour vet just west of where we were, and since she didn't want to drive around the block, she RAN down the service road to the office. Unfortunately, they were closed. In the meantime, a young white woman pulled over to help, as did an older black woman. Lots of people were slowing down at this point, but no one else stopped. 

"How can we help?" The older black woman called 911. She couldn't hear the police because of the traffic noise, so she handed me the phone. I gave them my name and the address, and they dispatched an officer and an animal rescue worker. 

While we waited, one of the women sat on the ground with me. I was praying for the dog.

The police came, and then the rescue worker. I explained the situation, and warned the worker to wear gloves to handle the dog. It had calmed down considerably by this time, but was still wary. 

I told them I would drive the dog to the emergency animal hospital, as the worker didn't know where it was and I did. I just asked him to put the dog in one of my large shopping totes, so I would be able to handle him safely. He did, and put him in the car for me. 

They told us all how kind we were. I hugged and thanked every one of my helpers. I prayed for provision, and when I got to the vet, I was told that there's no charge for bringing in an injured animal that isn't mine. I just had to surrender it. 

What's the reason for the story today? 

It illustrates how well people who don't know each other can work together for a common cause or interest. 

1) Sometimes when someone is hurt, the one who causes the pain doesn't care or is too self absorbed to stop and help or take responsibility. 

2) Sometimes when we try to help, the victim is so stunned by their pain that they might let us help, but then turn on us. We need to stay close, but give them space as they work through their pain.

3) Others can and will help, and race doesn't matter.

4) Sometimes we need a professional or someone with different talents to help. 

5) Be grateful for all helpers. Someone may have a solution that you didn't think of. 

6)When we take our eyes off ourselves, we can work well together. 

7)God sends help in many ways. 

Apply this in your own life and situations, and see how often it's been true for you as well. You might be pleasantly surprised.

THE CHILD WHISPERER

She worked in the banking industry for many years. She began as a teller, and was good at figures and balancing her drawer, never short, with few, if any errors. After a short time, she became their teller trainer. From there she moved up to be a manager of three branches, and then a vice president.
She had her own clients, and some were there and stayed because of her excellence in customer service. When the bank sold and changed hands and policy, she decided to retire.

One of Jo's friends from the bank had also retired, and was working part time for the local school district. She loved her job because she worked at her convenience; on call for substituting when classroom aides took a day off. Say yes when you want to work and no when you don't. It sounded good to Jo, and she decided to try it.

There's a screening and interview process, and Jo was told she was "overqualified" but they were glad to have her. They didn't know if she'd last because she might be bored. "Bored would be nice", she told them. She was hired after her screening and started working with the younger children, in the classes for children with special needs. The  administration had no need to be concerned; she was far from bored. She was learning many new things. She liked it. A lot. So much so that she rarely said no when they asked her to work. It was so very different than the banking industry; she had not anticipated just how much she would love her new job.

After a couple of weeks, Jo was called to the principal's office for a meeting. She couldn't understand why; had she done something wrong and was she was getting detention, she joked. But in reality, she knew what the meeting would be about. They wanted her to work for them full time in one particular class. The children there are all on the Autism spectrum, and she was a perfect fit for their classroom. She was kind and patient. She didn't get upset or lose her temper when difficult things happened in the room. And she made a difference in the overall climate of the room. The children worked well with her and liked her. She thought about the job offer and decided to accept. Everyone was happy about that; she was a welcome addition to the team.

Recently, there was a very difficult day for everyone. All the children were out of sorts. Some were "melting down". Some were yelling, some generally uncooperative. For one boy, it was just too much, and he was lying on the floor and refusing to get up. For twenty minutes. He was over stimulated and had simply gotten to the melting point and refused any help or intervention. Jo sat by him and talked quietly with him, and when he was unable to deal with that as well, she began to pray.

After a time, a wonderful peace descended on the room; the children began to settle down. The child on the floor decided to get up. Jo told me that it was "thick in there; I don't know how else to describe it". I knew exactly what she meant. Sometimes the Presence of the Lord comes so strongly when we pray that it really does feel thick; like honey, is how I describe it. His Presence is sweet and powerful, peaceful and strong. I love it. Apparently, so did the children in her classroom. I often say that many in our special needs community know God in ways that we can't begin to imagine; that they're in touch with Him in ways we don't know because He stays close and they're so sensitive in so many ways that they just know Him. It's quite remarkable when you begin to see this. It completely changes your perspective on spiritual matters with them. I've begun to expect to see them move in things of the Spirit of God. Jo does too.

When things had calmed down in the classroom and order had been restored, one of Jo's co-workers walked over to her and softly said, "You're the Child Whisperer." Indeed she is.

God stopped by and brought His peace in the midst of chaos because one of His children stopped to pray. And pray. And pray until something happened.  Isn't He so good?

Yesterday I was shopping, and as I was leaving the store, I was stopped by one of the guys who was selling home improvements. I stopped to listen even though we don't need anything, and if we did, Paul would do most of it himself or hire one of our friends. I let the guy go through his talking points, and even though I kept telling him that we didn't need anything, and that my husband wouldn't let them come for the free estimate, he kept talking. I was very patient. I let him try again. and again. He tried once again and then I said to him; "Nope. Now it's my turn." He just stopped talking and looked at me. He didn't know what to say for a moment.
I asked him his name, to be sure I had gotten it right, and he asked me for mine. Then I asked him how he was feeling, and he said he was fine. Back okay? Yeah, so far. I told him not to say that and to just expect the best. He smiled. Then I asked about his job and where he wanted to go, was he in school, did he want more than what he was doing now, and he said he really liked the company and planned to stay with them and wanted and go further. I offered to pray for him, and he said sure. And then I asked him if he knew Jesus. He said he did. I started to pray for him and mentioned the name of Jesus, and asked God to bless him.  He kept eye contact with me the whole time. Then he said that he didn't really know Jesus, and was raised Muslim. He said that he knew about Jesus, and that his girlfriend talked about Jesus all the time. He said he wasn't really any faith, that he was more of an Agnostic. 
So I told him a bit about who Jesus is, that He is God's son, and that he is God. And I told him that Jesus loves him and died for his sins, and for the sin of all people. When I did this, I could see that it hit him in his spirit. He actually kind of drew himself up and back a bit, but was totally engaged with what I was saying. I told him that there is a heaven, and that Jesus made the way for us to go there. He said that he had never heard that before. So I said that it's because no other religion has a God who would die for them to make a way for them to heaven and himself. We talked a little bit more, but I had to leave as it was almost time for Adam to get home. 
Then, as I was leaving the store, there was a  young man at the door. He was checking receipts to make sure you had everything you paid for. He was very friendly and happy. I asked a few questions, and he told me about his girlfriend, and that they were only dating for a few months, but that it felt like they had known each other for years. He said they were so happy together.  I asked a few more questions, and he said that they had already talked about marriage, and wasn't that crazy. I didn't think so, and told him that sometimes you know right away. He protested a bit and said that he was still in college, has lots ahead of him, and I agreed, but said that didn't mean she isn't the one. It just means not yet. I made a few attempts to offer to pray for him, but he was so in love he couldn't hear me. 
So, another time for him. It's all in God's timing, isn't it? 

I left the store and headed home. I asked the Lord to please let me get home before Adam. I thanked him for the time I spent with these two young men, and asked him to speak to them. I asked him to reveal himself in dreams and visions to the first one. I believe he will. I got home about five minutes before Adam did. 

I had just brought two bags of groceries into the house when Adam's bus arrived. And they were early. Isn't God so good? I got to talk about Him with someone who had no idea of how good He is, and still got home in time for early Adam. Please say a prayer for these young men; and that I will see them the next time I shop at this store.