Today we had friend day. I find that interesting as we're just getting to be friends and yet we were asked to invite friends for a visit and lunch. Everyone brought food to share and a friend or two if they could. It made for a very crowded Sunday morning. It was fun and I think most people enjoyed themselves.
I invited my daughter to come with her children and she did. She hasn't been attending anywhere with any regularity, and her son wants to go to church. It's funny how the scripture, "a little child shall lead them" seems to hold true so often. The kids had fun and I think my daughter enjoyed connecting with people she hasn't seen in a long time. I hope they come again.
As I'm typing. I am favoring my left index finger. I cut it the other day while I was quilting for Adam. Every time I make a baby quilt, he asks me to make one for him. I finally had found enough different yellow and blue patterns that I like and put one together for him. He's quite happy with the finished product.
Anyway, as I'm typing, my finger is hurting and I'm trying to type without using it. I managed, for the first time ever, to run it under the needle on the sewing machine as I was pushing the heavy layers of quilt through the machine. The needle just caught the tip of my finger and sliced through, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But it still gets in the way of so many things. I had to stop sewing so I wouldn't bleed on the fabric and ruin Adam's gift. I bandaged it up, which made sewing a bit more difficult. I kept it covered for showering and washing dishes. Now the cut is closed but still sensitive, and I am favoring it. And I am making lots of mistakes while I'm typing.
I'm thinking about how this is so like my recent dealings with the merge of my church with the Mosaic church. It's a good thing, but some things still hurt and I am favoring my emotions. I'm being cautious because I don't want to be hurt in this process, and yet that has happened already. People say things that are meant to make me feel welcome, but they have done the opposite. I'm being protective of my heart and trying very hard not to get defensive. So far I've been successful. I haven't returned to old habits and gotten judgmental. I've been able to just let things go and move forward. Inviting my daughter and her children to come for a visit proves to me that I'm willing to do just that and continue to hope for the best. I'm being aware of not being so protective that I don't let new people get close enough to get to know me. I've met some really nice, caring, men and women, and there are even teens who are comfortable enough with themselves to try to get to know Adam. I appreciate that so much. A few of the men have gone out of their way to spend time with him and to actually listen to my advice about how best to relate to him. That's refreshing!
All in all, most of the experiences in the new chuch have been good. I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I invited my daughter to come with her children and she did. She hasn't been attending anywhere with any regularity, and her son wants to go to church. It's funny how the scripture, "a little child shall lead them" seems to hold true so often. The kids had fun and I think my daughter enjoyed connecting with people she hasn't seen in a long time. I hope they come again.
As I'm typing. I am favoring my left index finger. I cut it the other day while I was quilting for Adam. Every time I make a baby quilt, he asks me to make one for him. I finally had found enough different yellow and blue patterns that I like and put one together for him. He's quite happy with the finished product.
Anyway, as I'm typing, my finger is hurting and I'm trying to type without using it. I managed, for the first time ever, to run it under the needle on the sewing machine as I was pushing the heavy layers of quilt through the machine. The needle just caught the tip of my finger and sliced through, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But it still gets in the way of so many things. I had to stop sewing so I wouldn't bleed on the fabric and ruin Adam's gift. I bandaged it up, which made sewing a bit more difficult. I kept it covered for showering and washing dishes. Now the cut is closed but still sensitive, and I am favoring it. And I am making lots of mistakes while I'm typing.
I'm thinking about how this is so like my recent dealings with the merge of my church with the Mosaic church. It's a good thing, but some things still hurt and I am favoring my emotions. I'm being cautious because I don't want to be hurt in this process, and yet that has happened already. People say things that are meant to make me feel welcome, but they have done the opposite. I'm being protective of my heart and trying very hard not to get defensive. So far I've been successful. I haven't returned to old habits and gotten judgmental. I've been able to just let things go and move forward. Inviting my daughter and her children to come for a visit proves to me that I'm willing to do just that and continue to hope for the best. I'm being aware of not being so protective that I don't let new people get close enough to get to know me. I've met some really nice, caring, men and women, and there are even teens who are comfortable enough with themselves to try to get to know Adam. I appreciate that so much. A few of the men have gone out of their way to spend time with him and to actually listen to my advice about how best to relate to him. That's refreshing!
All in all, most of the experiences in the new chuch have been good. I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
3 comments:
It's amazing how similar I've been feeling with what you've been expressing. Once again you put to words what I've been processing inside. I can totally relate to that cut finger that has closed but is still sensitive. I'm still guarded even though I feel loved by the people there, especially those I have known. It's still scary to risk right now because memories are still fresh and I don't want to get hurt again. My finger wants to pull away from the sewing machine before I even get close to the needle. or something like that haha Good Blog again :) Thanks for being real and open. I gotta do that same sometime soon.
I love your blog posts Candice. I hope you write one soon. being open is risky business; but it's better than the old way. xoxoxo
I love that you found a great similie/ metaphor/ comparison! I think it is great and know that it will heal. You are willing to still risk and I love that about you. You will get to s place where you can open the way you want to, and not be worried about getting hurt.
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