Waiting

Waiting, and waiting...and waiting some more. I've often heard it said that there are three answers to prayer; Yes, No, and Wait. I've said this myself, even though it's really an over simplification of the process of praying through something until its finish is revealed.
I've been praying for healing for Adam for a very long time. I've often wondered why the answers I want don't come when I want them. I've wondered a lot of other things too.
This morning I was wondering to the Lord about this and the Bethel trip; I never asked Him if we should go, and when I finally thought about that I had already bought the plane tickets and arranged everything with my daughter and her friends. So I told the Lord I was sorry for not asking Him about the whole thing, and asked Him to bless the journey. Don't we often do things this way? But then I went feeling good about everything and expecting good things from the Lord.
As I got quiet before the Lord today, I heard His voice deep inside me, "I took Adam three thousand miles to fulfill a prophecy to Bethel."
Slowly, quietly, I realized the reason for the long wait for the healing of Adam's spine to begin. God had a plan. It wasn't my plan and He didn't need my advice. He only wanted my cooperation, which was simple trust and patience. He was working out greater things for His Kingdom than I could begin to ask or imagine. Just like He tells us in Ephesians 3:20-----"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us......"
His power at work within us. It's different in each one. His power in me was for patience in the waiting, and for holding on to what I believed was best for Adam, among a few other things.  His power at work in me was also to bring Adam to Bethel to fulfill the prophecy that they would begin to see people with disabilities pray for each other, and healing would happen. His power at work in Olive was to bring healing to Adam and to show the beginning of the fullness of that prophecy.
I didn't know about the prophetic word until after I came home from California and was contacted by the pastoral staff for some additional information regarding Adam's condition and how he was doing. Also to ask if I would send updates after he saw a doctor. In talking with Vince, and sharing what happened while we were there, I learned of God's word to their church.(You can read all these accounts in several older posts, especially Sunday Morning Prayer at Bethel, and Bethel Follow up.)
Waiting. So hard sometimes. Waiting. So worth it sometimes. Thank you Lord for stopping by this morning to show me your ways once again. Thank you for doing beyond all I could ask or imagine. Thank you for all you're still doing.
I've heard testimonies of jewels dropping from heaven. I got one this morning.
Love and blessings to all my readers. Thank you for stopping by.

Just An Observation

I've been sharing Adam's story of the healing of his back with different people. There are many different reactions; all positive so far. As I share this, and talk about the prayer session Sunday morning at Bethel, I always share about the young woman with Down Syndrome who prayed for him. I'll call her Olive. Whenever I think of her, that's the name that comes to mind, and so she will always be in my heart. Unless I meet her again and find out her real name.
I was telling the whole story of the visit to Adam's doctor to a friend, and how he had nothing much to say about the amazing change in his spine. She remarked as to how could he not say anything after such a dramatic difference. How could he not believe in a miracle? Then I shared about Olive and her compassion for Adam,and  how she just reached out her hands and wanted to bless him. And that it was after this prayer time that he began to declare that he was healed.
My friend asked me if I thought Olive was an angel. I said no, that she was a person like you and me. I felt no difference. She remarked that sometimes angels come and we don't recognize them. I said, no, it was just a young woman and that I felt no supernatural presence. She walked away, commenting that no, she thought it was an angel. And ended the conversation.
Belief and unbelief are strange bedfellows. She couldn't understand how the doctor had no comment on Adam's huge physical change; she couldn't believe that God worked His healing power through someone with disabilities.
I wonder how many of us feel the same way? We limit God's ability to do mighty things, depending on the vessel He chooses to use. I could go on and on, but you get my drift.
Ask yourself that question, and see where you limit His ability to move your mountains. I know I'm asking. Maybe God has been stopping by, but we've been too blind to see Him.

People get ready; there's a change a comin'....

Beyond Diagnoses: A Different Way

Today Adam had a visit with his orthopedic surgeon. He's a wonderful doctor who has taken care of Adam for many years. He is kind and patient and always speaks to Adam and tries to understand him before he turns to me for help. I truly appreciate that. He respects Adam as a person.

For the last few years, three for sure and perhaps one or two more, we've had an ongoing dialog about Adam's need for spine straightening surgery. Due to Adam's neurological issues and to some shunt surgeries that he's had, he developed scoliosis and kyphosis, a curvature and twisting of the spinal column. When scoliosis occurs due to growth and bone issues, the curve stops worsening when the child stops growing. Not so for children like Adam whose underlying cause is neurological. Then the curve will continue to worsen with time, and can become so severe as to cause organ damage and death. Adam's physician has been very concerned for him as his curve began worsening more swiftly in the last year and a half, and was now at forty two degrees.

I have been refusing this surgical intervention and discussing it rationally with his doctor.In order to straighten out Adam's curve, they would have to open his entire spine, base of neck to lower back. There would be rods and screws screwed into his bones to hold everything straight. He would never be able to completely twist or turn again. The recovery time, they say, is six to eight weeks. The physical therapists say it's more like a year. I said "NO."
Adam has had a few dangerous trips to the O.R. for his last few shunt surgeries, and we nearly lost him twice. His neurosurgeon and neurologist have both agreed with me that to wait until there was no other choice would be in Adam's best interest, but when you speak with a surgeon, they come from a completely different point of view. They believe it is better to fix it before it gets too difficult and dangerous to fix. I hear that. I understand that. I just don't agree with that. Dr. Persistant has had many conversations and been very patient with me as he explained his point of view. I always came back with, "Can you promise me you won't put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Can you promise me that he won't die on the table?" His answer was always, "No, I can't" My answer was always, "Then I can't either."
Today was quite a different story. Since our visit to Bethel Church in Redding, Adam has been doing so much better, as you know if you've been following my blog. (If not, please go to older posts as there is too much to repeat.) The pastoral team there has continued to pray for Adam until he would have this appointment. I have had hope, and I have seen improvement in the scar on his back where it twists so badly, but I can't say I had super faith for an improvement that would impress his doctor.
Adam had spinal x-rays, as he does every time he goes for the last several years. We went to the examination room to wait for Dr. Persistant to come and see him and his films. He came in and spoke with us for a few minutes, and then went to the computer and looked up the scans.
"The lateral (sideways) film looks great!(I thought it did too. It shows the twist.) Let's get a look at the other one." (The front view which shows the curve.) He looked at it and began the measurements that would tell him how much worse the curve had gotten or if it stayed the same. It looked pretty good to me from the last time we were in, about five and a half months ago. "It's measuring in the low thirties", and he stopped measuring. The low thirties. That means about ten degrees less than the last time we were there. I asked, "Wasn't it in the forties the last time we were here?" (Which I knew it was) He said yes. And that was all. He turned to us to talk about some other issues that needed addressing, but Adam was just getting started. "I got prayer. I got prayer!" he told Dr. Persistant. He looked at me for the interpretation. "My back is all better! No more pain!" Adam continued. He understood that. "I'm really glad, Adam", he said. Adam told him, "We flew to church." So I had to explain the flight, the trip to Bethel,and the Healing Rooms in as few minutes as I had his attention. I couldn't explain it all as he wasn't interested, but he listened a little and then got back to business.
I think it's important that I share something else. I've been hearing reports for the last year or so about people who've had metal dissolve out of their bodies after having been prayed for. This wasn't at Bethel, but it stirred me up to pray a bit differently as I prayed for Adam. Instead of just praying for healing, I began to pray something like this; "Lord, if You can dissolve metal out of people's bodies, then why would I let Adam have this terrible surgery? Why put it in if You can and do take it out? I'm holding out for the miracle before, not after." It gave me faith to hold on for more every time I heard of another one. You can go on http://www.youtube.com/ to see some reports of this if you like.
I know some who read this will think I'm crazy, but I don't care. Adam is better. It's measurable.  You can deny belief in God, but you can't deny what He's done. Or perhaps you can explain it to me. His doctor couldn't. But I'm willing to listen.
I can't answer the question of why healing doesn't always happen. I can't answer the queston of why it happened this time. I won't even try. I'll leave it up to the mysteries of God stopping by and doing what He does best. Loving His children. Thanks for reading my post today. I pray God blesses you and touches your heart as you read. And that He stops by your house today. Love, Ginnie

Here is some testimony from Bethel Church!

Curtains and Colored Pencils

My daughter Jennifer stopped by today to pick up some curtains that I keep forgetting to give to her. We were looking though my fabric stash and talking about projects and colors and our conversation migrated to things that are happening in our church and things we want to be doing. She and I both have a strong feeling about doing art during the service. I've been encouraging her for a number of years to start drawing and painting again, and she has been holding back. I want to learn how to draw, and have made some sketches, but I don't know what I'm doing and well...

For Christmas this year, Jen gave me two art kits to get me going. One is watercolors and the other is a drawing set. They both have instruction books with them. They are still unused. But I will get around to using them. We were talking about how we want to see more of a release of the arts in our community,and both of us have the desire to get things going. I was encouraging her about doing prophetic portraits.  It's a way to speak encouragement to someone else, by asking the Lord to give you a picture for them, and then drawing that picture and telling them what it means. She didn't quite understand, so as I was about to give her a picture of what you might see and then draw, the Lord gave me something else entirely. As I shared it with her, I realized it was for her. I decided to give it a try myself and as I talked with her I drew what I was seeing. It was a cut watermelon, red ripe and juicy, and the juice and seeds were spilling out onto the table it was sitting on. As I spoke, I got more understanding. I wrote the interpretation on the drawing and gave it to her. As I try to share what it means, I can't remember it precisly, but it was overall about the sweetness that pours out of her, and the seeds spilling out are what she sows into the kingdom. If you want to know the rest, you'll have to ask her. I think it's for Jen to share or ponder to herself. We decided that we'll bring sketch paper,and charcoal and colored pencils to church with us tomorrow and see what happens.

When she went home, she called me right away. For the first time in all the years she's lived in her home, she saw the woodpecker she hears every year. It was a little red-headed one. It was happily pecking away, lookin for bugs in the little pile of wooden stakes that she has for her garden. When she went inside, her son saw my picture of the watermelon, and said "Oooo watermelon! I'm hungry" She wanted to encourage me that someone else knew what my sketch was without being told, and to tell me about the Lord's surprise for her.
How God does stop by when we least expect Him! John Paul Jackson often refers to Him as "Jehovah Sneaky". I think he's right on the money with that.
I'll let you know what happens tomorrow. We're excited and can't wait! For me, it seems that my Great Adventure with the Lord is gaining momentum. What a ride!

A Better Way

I'm finding such a change in our household since our Bethel trip. Adam has always loved worship, but now I can see day to day how much it affects him. Most mornings since our return , we've been watching worship videos to begin our day. When we do, the day goes so much better. Adam is more focused and cooperative, and less moody. When we don't, I see old behavior patterns return, which I don't like. He becomes disagreeable and refuses to cooperate, yells and speaks at a volume that is unbearable to most of our family, and will not settle down at all. The stress level in our home threatens to return to pre-Redding conditions.
Regular t.v. often seems to un-bless him. And his taste in programs has changed. For the better, but it's hard sometimes to find something that he can watch, so we've been watching more worship and movies that we have on dvd. What a change for us! Things are so much better. Now I need to purchase more music videos for him. There is a Christian music channel on cable, but while it's great listening, it's boring to watch; no videos. This is the kind of problem that I like; needing to find more things out there to bless him. It's really about what's most important in our lives, and putting that (Jesus)first.

California was an expensive trip, but the cost was so worth every penny spent. We will go again, I'm sure. Adam often wants to know when we will be flying to church.I tell him, "One day. but I'm not sure when." I'm hoping for a big change in atmosphere here in our own corner of the world. God can do it, we just need to cooperate and see what He's about. Love, putting God first and honoring others will bring about this change. Our church is going for this in every way we can. I am too. I hope everyone will join us in this expedition to  a greater Love. We CAN change the world. We're just working on our island first.

Bethel Follow Up

When Adam and I were at Bethel on Sunday morning, I filled out a prayer request form. I heard from them today! They were following up to let me know there is a team interceeding for him and to ask how he's doing. I had a lengthy conversation with Vince, the young man who called, and discovered that he's from Holbrook! For those who don't know, that's about a 10 minute ride from where I live. He knows Jason, our friend who's attending the ministry school at Bethel, and is in a fellowship group with him. He asked me so many questions and was so interested in all that's happened and is ongoing with Adam. I told him that anyone who meets Adam never forgets him, and he laughed and said that was true, people there know who he is when they're praying for the requests for him.
Something wonderful happened as we were speaking; I told him about the young woman with Down Syndrome who prayed for Adam on Sunday morning. I told him that I found it very interesting that it was after she prayed for him that Adam began to declare "I got healed today! I got healed today!" He got very excited as I was telling him the story. There was a prophecy given at Bethel by a man named Paul(I can't remember his last name). He said that they would begin to see people with intellectual disabilities pray for each other, and they would be healed!!!!I almost jumped out of my skin with joy. If you haven't read my previous post about Sunday morning, please do. The Lord is confirming over and over to me about His desire for His special ones to move in their giftings. This one conversation has stirred me up again and I can't wait to get moving on the how to accomplish this for Him. And them. I got goosebumps all over when Vince told me about the prophetic word...I am ecstatic over the confirmation of this call on my life and Adam's as well. God stopped by in such a powerful way this afternoon.I hope He does the same for you when you read this. Love to my readers and joy overwhelming.
p.s. I should also add that Adam has had about a 90% reduction in the pain in his back since Sunday morning.......an increase in his speech abilities, and a lessening of his anxiety.

Your Countenance Has Changed

Your countenance has changed. I heard that today for the second time in my life. The bells and sirens went off inside me immediately, before anything else was said. The first time I heard it was in a very difficult time, when I was totally isolated from most friends and family. It was following a season of many surgeries for Adam, and I hadn't slept through the night in months.On a good night he would wake up three times, on a bad night he was up every half hour. There had been a time of tremendous oppression in our household as I was contending for Adam's life. He was still very ill and using a wheelchair for the first time. He couldn't walk, couldn't lift himself to transfer from one place to another, and we all had to learn so many new things .He couldn't go to school and we had teachers and therapists coming in to help him. His physical therepist kept telling me he would never walk again. Our lives had totally changed and I was tired and weak and afraid. And isolated. I rarely went out. Six months later, I heard for the first time, "You know, your countenance has changed."
To say that I became angry is an understatement. I was furiously angry. And I let that person have it with both barrels. I let out all the anger, pain, disapointment and rejection I was feeling, and received a sincere apology. I forgave, but it took a long time to feel it.
Your countenance has changed. Isn't that an unusual way of speaking? I heard it for the second time at church today. This time, it came with a loving hug and a question.."Has something changed? Are you doing better? You look so different." And the wall came down. The bells and sirens were silenced. It wasn't a judgment or criticism, it was an expression of love and acceptance. I don't think my answer mattered as much as the way I felt and was able to receive what was said. The truth is, my countenance has changed. I received some priceless prayer while I was at Bethel Church, and I felt so validated by Father God through the words that were spoken by a young woman named Kate. She spoke prophetically about what she saw, and I could see in my spirit what she was saying. She saw jars that the Lord has for me, each one holding something different. They look a lot like a jar that a friend, Olivia, made for me last year. The content is between me and Him, but the things she told me brought such healing and just washed me clean from years of rejection and old wounds. She loved like Jesus loves and spent time to be sure I received it. Thank you Kate. I was blessed beyond all expectation.
The words I heard today brought blessing and healing. I do feel differently than I did before I went to Bethel. I'm settling in to the new church. Good things are happening and I feel freer than I have in a long time. That freedom has been three years in the making. Thank you Tom, for ringing the bell of love and liberty.  Thank you Phill, for speaking words that washed over me and brought healing. This restoration that's happening is good for us all. I hope many more are blessed by it. I am so thankful.

This and That: Bethel Scenes

We came home early Monday morning after our adventure to Bethel Church in Redding, California. It's a wonderful place where people learn to love like Jesus loves and to honor each other and anyone else the Lord puts in their path. What an amazing difference that makes in the atmosphere and how a visitor feels. It is rare that Adam and I have felt so loved and welcomed outside of our own little corner of the planet. I was not worried about his behavior disturbing anyone else, and I wasn't worried about needing to take him out of the sanctuary if he was noisy. I didn't feel the judgment or the irritation that we have sometimes experienced when we visit someplace new. It was so refreshing to be able to just deal with Adam and his needs and not worry that he was too noisy every time he squeaked or got excited. He was accepted and loved for who he is. Bill Johnson and his staff have learned, and have taught their church so well, to honor every person.

We attended the Friday night service, the Saturday morning Healing Rooms, and Sunday service. Adam may have had more prayer for healing in the three visits to Bethel than he's had in his entire life. That's because they not only take every opportunity to pray, but they also stayed with him for a long time to soak him in the Lord's presence and to keep listening to the Father for His direction and desire. And so many people wanted to pray for him! I had to fend them off sometimes because he was so tired. I never experienced that before. (People often avoid praying for him , I think because they're afraid of failure. I understand that.)Adam continues to be extremely boistrous and excited when he's getting a lot of attention. And it's hard for someone who doesn't know him to understand how this affects him. I have to say that I was also very tired after the meetings. We had intended to go to a concert/fundraiser for the school that's part of this ministry, but after the time spent in the Healing Rooms on Saturday we had lunch and went back to the hotel and slept. When evening came we were still too tired to do anything but get some food and bring it in for dinner. Adam didn't think we needed to stay in, but I was tired. We rested and spent time with friends who traveled to Bethel to be with us and pray for Adam.

Jessica, my youngest daughter, and her friends, Natalie, and Ella and Caylao, Ella's baby daughter, flew up from San Diego to Sacramento and met us at the airport. We rented a car together and drove up to Redding. You can get a connecting flight, but it would have cost too much. It was nicer anyway to drive together and spend time talking. I rarely get to see them. All of them work and took time out of their busy schedules to be with us. Jessica is an audiologist, Ella is a college professor, and Natalie is a doctor. Not so easy to get all of our scedules to jive, but from the time they heard I was thinking of bringing Adam to Bethel, they were praying about going and for the break in their routine to be able to come. God is so good!
It was terrific to have these women who love Jesus as our companions in this part of Adam's journey to wholeness. They are seasoned intercessors and kept us in prayer before, during and after our time there. You can't ask for better than that. It was fun having meals together and getting to know each other a little more. Caylao is so cute and sweet and she was so good! It's not easy being eight months old and doing all that travelling and being away from everything familiar. She smiled all the time and rarely cried.
Our friend's son, Jason, is a student at the School of Ministry at Bethel. He did everything he could to help us while we were in town. He gave us the service times and advice on how early we needed to arrive to get good seats. He spent time with us and listened to Adam and really gave him so much attention..I think he was probably as tired as I was some of the time. He joined us in the healing rooms and spent time talking with Adam even though he wasn't officially allowed to minister at the time. He introduced us to some of his friends who were also very good with Adam. After the Sunday service, I went into the bookstore, which is surprisingly small for such a large facility. It was really crowded. Jason and his friend Kyle were in there, and Jay offered to take Adam into the hallway for me so that I could have a few minutes to find what I wanted to buy. When I went out into the hall to find them, they were gone. I looked in the coffee shop area, outside, in the sanctuary, and then decided to text Jay. His friend Kyle came up to me and said they needed to leave and could I come and get Adam. "Sure! Where is he?" Jay had taken him for a behind the scenes tour of the sanctuary. What a great time Adam had with them! It was difficult getting him to let them leave.
We met nearly every person who walked by us, as Adam greets everyone and says "C'mere! C'mere!" And many people just do. That never ceases to amaze me. We met guys from the worship team, people from Norway, Italy, and countless other places, security guards, the electrician, custodians, and assorted others who blended together after a while. Wonderfully kind, all of them.
The first night, the worship team was practicing when we went into the sanctuary. We were the first to arrive and got to sit three rows from the front. The first two are reserved. Adam walked up and watched the band for about ten seconds and started blessing them with "Whoosh! Whoosh! Fire! Fire!" as he raised his hands over his head and then bent forward to be sure the blessing flowed. I wasn't sure what to expect, if they might be annoyed, as they were praying before practice, but they just looked at him and smiled and laughed and received what he was sending. Worship was fantastic and later, during the sermon, Adam sat quietly and absorbed all he could. The girls were amazed at his ability to stay focused for so long...an hour and a half. It really is remarkable, but he can concentrate for much longer periods of time when the Spirit of the Lord flows with power. And He was.
That's it for tonight; I just wanted to share some more of our trip with you. I hope you're enjoying the journey with us. Peace, blessings and lots of love to all my readers. xoxoxo

Sunday Morning Prayer at Bethel

 A short post about our prayer time experience on Sunday morning..it keeps coming to me so I decided to write a bit and give the Lord more praise for the way He works.
At the end of the service, Bill Johnson called the prayer ministry teams to come forward, and then invited everyone who was sick or needed prayer to come forward too. I had a hard time holding Adam back until we were called...he wanted to race up there immediately.
We made our way to the front of the sactuary as others were making their way to the back to exit. It took a minute or so and then we waited for someone to be free and to pray for him. A blond woman named Elena came and spoke with us about his particular needs. She was very friendly and kind, and began to speak with him and pray for him. Behind me and to my right was a young woman with dark hair and distinctive almond-shaped eyes. She had Down syndrome. She was waiting for prayer and was watching Adam intently. He was excited and making lots of happy noises. After a few minutes, she raised up her hands and said "I want to pray for you." She looked at me and I said "Come on over". I moved to the left to make room for her, and she laid her hands on his back and prayed. When she noticed it was her turn for prayer, she just left. Her compassion for Adam brought tears to my eyes, and it so blessed me that the Lord used her in this way. It is my strong belief that all of us are made in the image and likeness of God, and that all of us have gifts that are for others. I so desire to recognize and make place for those with disabilities to move in the giftings that God has placed in them. He confirmed the call on my life to do just that when He sent her to just the right spot at just the right time to pray for Adam. Show me Your way, Lord, and I will do what You have called me to do.
I know the many and intense and loving prayers said for and over Adam were all part of the healing taking place in his life right now, but...was she a sign and a wonder? Because she's sure a sign that makes me wonder.....