Your Countenance Has Changed

Your countenance has changed. I heard that today for the second time in my life. The bells and sirens went off inside me immediately, before anything else was said. The first time I heard it was in a very difficult time, when I was totally isolated from most friends and family. It was following a season of many surgeries for Adam, and I hadn't slept through the night in months.On a good night he would wake up three times, on a bad night he was up every half hour. There had been a time of tremendous oppression in our household as I was contending for Adam's life. He was still very ill and using a wheelchair for the first time. He couldn't walk, couldn't lift himself to transfer from one place to another, and we all had to learn so many new things .He couldn't go to school and we had teachers and therapists coming in to help him. His physical therepist kept telling me he would never walk again. Our lives had totally changed and I was tired and weak and afraid. And isolated. I rarely went out. Six months later, I heard for the first time, "You know, your countenance has changed."
To say that I became angry is an understatement. I was furiously angry. And I let that person have it with both barrels. I let out all the anger, pain, disapointment and rejection I was feeling, and received a sincere apology. I forgave, but it took a long time to feel it.
Your countenance has changed. Isn't that an unusual way of speaking? I heard it for the second time at church today. This time, it came with a loving hug and a question.."Has something changed? Are you doing better? You look so different." And the wall came down. The bells and sirens were silenced. It wasn't a judgment or criticism, it was an expression of love and acceptance. I don't think my answer mattered as much as the way I felt and was able to receive what was said. The truth is, my countenance has changed. I received some priceless prayer while I was at Bethel Church, and I felt so validated by Father God through the words that were spoken by a young woman named Kate. She spoke prophetically about what she saw, and I could see in my spirit what she was saying. She saw jars that the Lord has for me, each one holding something different. They look a lot like a jar that a friend, Olivia, made for me last year. The content is between me and Him, but the things she told me brought such healing and just washed me clean from years of rejection and old wounds. She loved like Jesus loves and spent time to be sure I received it. Thank you Kate. I was blessed beyond all expectation.
The words I heard today brought blessing and healing. I do feel differently than I did before I went to Bethel. I'm settling in to the new church. Good things are happening and I feel freer than I have in a long time. That freedom has been three years in the making. Thank you Tom, for ringing the bell of love and liberty.  Thank you Phill, for speaking words that washed over me and brought healing. This restoration that's happening is good for us all. I hope many more are blessed by it. I am so thankful.