I Worked On This Before, But I Just Can't Finish It

 I have found that raising typically developing children has many challenges; raising a child with challenges has changed me more than raising my three girls ever did. Adam has shown me "Jesus with skin on" better than anyone else I have met. He loves unconditionally and does it so well. He will forget your name but never forget you. He will ask you the same thing over and over again, but never get mad at you for reminding him that he just asked you that.  When he does this, he is either not able to process your response, or he's stuck in a loop and can't escape it. He doesn't hold it against you when YOU can't remember that HE can't remember that he asked you that already. He doesn't resent you when he asks you your name and you tell him, "You know my name." He does get upset though, because he doesn't know and that's why he asked you.
 He lives with pain and mostly doesn't complain. He has multiple surgeries and doesn't hate the doctor that cuts into his body so often. In fact, he loves him. Our beautiful special needs children are indeed a testimony to the darkness that there is a Kingdom of Love, and a few of its residents live and  love and battle from the time they're born to bring the light of that Kingdom to the earth. 
I think I'm done tonight. This is a sensitive spot and I think you get the gist of what I'm saying. No need to press any further. 

A DIVINE APPOINTMENT

Adam was admitted to the hospital in early February for a shunt revision. You can read about this in some of my previous posts. However, during the first few days we were in the hospital, it was especially noisy and nights were frequently being disrupted by patients having meltdowns and by head trauma patients becoming increasingly and loudly confused and combative. There were more Code calls those first few nights than I've ever heard in all the times we've spent in Stony Brook added together. I prayed for each situation, and asked the Father why there was so much going on. It was really so unusual. I also had some very specific nightmares, which is unusual.

I am usually friendly to everyone when I'm there; it makes it so much better when I keep a positive attitude. I try to be pleasant and helpful to other families; you meet each other in the hallways and in the little kitchen area that is available for snacks, coffee and tea. There's a small refrigerator where you can store some food or drinks for yourself, and a rack to return meal trays if you don't want them in your room until the food service worker returns for them. You tend to bump into people when you're in there. It seems silly to not at least say hello, or to chat for a moment if you have the time.

One evening, I went to get some tea. Adam was sound asleep, so I wanted to walk a bit and stretch my legs, and get some tea before I settled in for sleep. I met a man named Joe that night. He was tired and lonely and wanted to chat. His mother had been on the hospital for a couple of weeks, and she wasn't doing very well. He didn't know how much longer she'd be in, but it didn't look like she'd be getting home any time soon. we spoke for a time, and he told me he was praying for all the patients every night while he was there. He told me that he was sending "white healing light" to everyone. The alarms went off inside of me, but I was patient and asked God for a way to address this with him if he was open. We continued to talk, and he mentioned  God and Jesus, and I asked if he knew them. He said that he did. So I asked if Jesus was his savior, and then as ked if he was the Lord, and he replied yes to both questions. So I told him that it wasn't good for him to be praying for "white healing light" to be released for the patients, and when he asked why, I told him that it was a wiccan prayer. He knew what I meant and was upset about it.  I told him that believers pray for healing in Jesus' name and not for white light. Jesus is the only true healing light. I encouraged him to keep praying but to ask Jesus to release healing instead of what he'd been doing. He said he would. We talked for a while longer, and then I asked if I could pray for him. I just started to bless him with the presence of God, and to ask for peace to come to him. I asked God to lift his worry and fears, and to give him joy, and to show Joe how much he loves him. He was laughing and his entire countenance brightened. He told me that he wanted to weep so badly because of how wonderful he felt and how changed he was, but that he was so full of joy that he couldn't cry. He couldn't understand everything that was happening to him, and he thanked me over and over again. He told me that I had changed his life in those few minutes. I assured him that it wasn't me, and that it was the Father, who loves him so much that he caused us to meet that night.

Joe gave me his business card, but first told me that I wouldn't like it. I said I'd take it anyway, and it was covered in skulls and symbols from many different religions. I smiled and told him to get some new ones made up. He said he would. I went back to my room and he went to his. I saw him a few more times that night and the next morning, but his mother went home two days after we met! God's timing is perfect, and perhaps the change in his prayers freed her from what he'd been doing before.

The other wonderful thing that happened was that when Joe stopped praying his prayers, the craziness in the hospital stopped too. The head trauma patients calmed down, and when they did have episodes, they were much less intense, and also quieter. There were still Codes called at different times, but they were much less frequent.

God is everywhere. We aren't always aware of his presence, but present he is. He stopped by in the little kitchen on the eighteenth floor and rocked a man's world. Mine too. But then isn't that some of his best work? How he does surprise me.

Peace and blessing to you today.

Political Nonsense

I've been watching the Republican and Democratic conventions these past two weeks. I haven't watched every minute; I really don't have time to listen to every word. As I have watched, I find myself wishing that they would say something different; something original. Something that isn't the spin nonsense of the party line. I am so tired of hearing how bad the other guy is...when will someone actually tell me something that tells me what they think? I want to hear the truth from someone! I don't want to be needing to go to Google or snopes.com to verify what's been said. And...can I believe what I read there anyway? It just seems to me that no matter how many times they say "It's not about me......", that's really all it's about!

Politics have become such a dirty business. It seems to be more about how much trash one can talk about the other guy, rather than what can really be done to help our country regain the status of being the greatest nation on earth. When I was younger, I didn't pay much attention to the political games. I only knew what was happening in my own life. I remember very well the recession of the 1970's; the long lines at the gas stations; you had to go on particular days of the week to get fuel. I remember losing a business, and how hard it was for my husband to find work to support our family. We had two little girls and one on the way. Times were very hard. I have great sympathy for those who are stuggling now. And I don't know if there is anyone now running who truly has the answers our country needs, because no one is laying out their plans for the future.
The other thing that bothers me is the hatred I see being stirred up. How come it isn't okay to have a different opinion than someone else? Many politicians seem to be depending on dividing the country along party lines in order to get what they want. What happened to civility? I see friends online who vehemently hate the other side! How truly sad this is. We will never be able to work together if we don't stop trying to blame someone else for the state of the union. When will someone stand up and say, "ENOUGH! Can't we all just work together?" Don't bother to tell me that so and so says that this party wants to work together but that party doesn't...they both say the same thing. Generally speaking, the truth will be found somewhere in the middle.
Finally, I call to those who say that they are followers of Jesus. My question is this, "Are you showing the world a Jesus they could relate to?" Take a look at what you're posting on your Facebook wall, and then think again. Are you drawing people closer to finding God, or sending them further away from him? We can post the truth without being obnoxious. I know I need to be more careful in what I post, and be more diligent about checking my resources; people are asking; they want the truth.
The election is only a short time away.(60 days, to be exact.) Please pay attention to what is being said. Please pray. And please vote. You can only blame yourself for the next four years if you don't.
Thanks for revisiting my blog. I hope my rant doesn't stop you from coming back. I'd love to hear what you think. Leave a post if you like. Peace, Ginnie

Just One of Those Days......

I've been posting pictures on my Facebook page. One of them in particular reminded me of having one of those days. You know, when reality slides in and bites you. Most of the time, I refuse to visit that place, because it drags me backward and causes me to sink into a place of deep sadness. Ever have times like that?
 Adam uses his wheelchair whenever he doesn't have his orthotics(leg braces) on. He really can't walk without them. This day, we were outside and he needed his chair. The kids had been playing for a while, and Adam got tired and pulled over to a shady spot under a maple tree, near the end of the driveway. He sat there for a few minutes, watching the cars go by. I sat watching him, and thinking over the years of his life, and the milestones he had made. And the milestones he never made. That's where the sadness struck. He'll never skateboard down the block with friends. He'll never walk to the McDonald's around the corner. He will never drive a car. Friends don't call to ask him if he wants to hang out.
It's hard watching kids who are the same age as him; they're going to college and graduating. They're dating and getting engaged. They're driving and talking excitedly about the next car they're going to buy. And lots of other things that he will never do. I get so mad at myself whenever I let this take hold. It makes me cry and I feel awful. Paul and I can't even look at each other when we have this happen at the same time. It just hurts too much.
Well, that was depressing, wasn't it? But here's our usual reality.
Adam is one of the happiest people I know. He is also one of the most loving. In all the years of surgeries, endoscopies, and countless CT scans and medical procedures, Adam always comes up smiling when it's done. He never holds a grudge against the ones who have hurt him, or against me for subjecting him to all these many things. He is truly forgiving. I learn so much from him.
He also has a wonderful relationship with God. I think Adam knows God in ways that I can only imagine. I believe this because when he's able, he tells me what he knows and what he's seen.(Adam has expressive aphasia; which means he often cannot speak even though he knows what he wants to say.) He encourages others from time to time by praying for them or just blessing them by yelling out "JESUS,JESUS." and waving his hands towards them. How do I know it blesses someone else? Because they tell me. And the first time it happens, it blows them away. They always say something like "He really just blessed me. I mean REALLY. How does he do that?" Or, "I didn't know Adam could do that. I really felt the presence of the Lord." Amazing. God is so good. It used to be just me that got to see and understand what the Father is doing in Adam; it seems that now He is letting others in on His secret.
So, today is just one of those days too. But it's one of those days when I'm truly thankful for all that I have. Family, home, health, and Adam.  There were times when we weren't so sure that he would still be here with us. I'm so glad that he is.

Father,please bless my readers today. Meet their needs according to your glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Comfort those who mourn, encourage those who are disheartened, laugh with those who are rejoicing, and dance with the dancers! Thank you. I ask all this in Jesus' strong name.

You probably can't see this but the bag hanging on the back of the chair says "Life is Good". It truly is.