I Worked On This Before, But I Just Can't Finish It

 I have found that raising typically developing children has many challenges; raising a child with challenges has changed me more than raising my three girls ever did. Adam has shown me "Jesus with skin on" better than anyone else I have met. He loves unconditionally and does it so well. He will forget your name but never forget you. He will ask you the same thing over and over again, but never get mad at you for reminding him that he just asked you that.  When he does this, he is either not able to process your response, or he's stuck in a loop and can't escape it. He doesn't hold it against you when YOU can't remember that HE can't remember that he asked you that already. He doesn't resent you when he asks you your name and you tell him, "You know my name." He does get upset though, because he doesn't know and that's why he asked you.
 He lives with pain and mostly doesn't complain. He has multiple surgeries and doesn't hate the doctor that cuts into his body so often. In fact, he loves him. Our beautiful special needs children are indeed a testimony to the darkness that there is a Kingdom of Love, and a few of its residents live and  love and battle from the time they're born to bring the light of that Kingdom to the earth. 
I think I'm done tonight. This is a sensitive spot and I think you get the gist of what I'm saying. No need to press any further. 

RIP CURRENT

I woke up early this morning, about an hour before I had set my alarm clock to jar me back to consciousness. I was lying in my bed and praying before getting up to join in on an early morning prayer call. I remembered a time when I was swimming and got caught in a rip current. I began to feel fear creep over me, but I prayed and refused it. That experience was twenty five years ago; why would I let it bother me now? I wouldn't.
 Have you ever gone swimming and been caught in a rip current? It can be a frightening experience. Many years ago I lived in Florida for a short time. I didn't know many people, and so, when my children went to school, I often went to the beach by myself. I always stick to the "Don't swim alone" guidelines, so when I went in the water, I would always talk to someone near me, and keep sight and awareness of them so I would have a "buddy" in case I needed one.
One afternoon, I went in the water and there was a man swimming nearby. We chatted briefly; it was a beautiful day and the water temperature was perfect. The sun was glistening on the waves. A perfect time to float around and enjoy the surf. I swam out to a distance that I knew was far enough for me; I floated and swam around for a while, keeping my eyes on the shore and my swim buddy.
After a while, I was a little tired of swimming, so I floated before starting back to shore. I rested for a few moments, flipped over and looked again; I had drifted further away from shore than I realized. I wasn't really worried as I was a strong swimmer, but I was much further out than I had been before I started to float. I headed back to shore. I was quite far from my swim buddy and I was a little nervous. How could I have drifted such a distance in such a short amount of time?
I began swimming with long, strong strokes. I checked again and saw that I was even further away than before I had started back. Now I was getting frightened. My swim buddy was far away and looked SMALL. No matter how hard I swam, I couldn't get closer to shore, and was actually being drawn further away. I didn't understand what was happening.
I thought of myself drowning and my children being left to grow up without me. There was a lifeguard on the shore, but I don't think he saw me and I didn't wave or yell for help; I didn't think he'd hear me and I needed to save my strength for swimming. I prayed to the Lord as I struggled against the tide.
Then I decided to swim parallel to the beach. I turned south and swam as hard as I could. I was able to make progress and to get closer to the shore after I had swum a few yards. I kept going and finally made it far enough in that I could stand. I was exhausted. I walked out of the water and sat on the sand for a few minutes to catch my breath. Then I walked back up the beach to where my things were.  I had probably drifted a quarter of a mile or more before I was able to get out of the water. I saw my swim buddy and he said "Hey! There you are! I was worried but then I saw you swimming so I  knew you were okay. You were really far out there! " I just laughed and said "Yeah, I was. Thanks for watching for me."
Some time later I learned that what I experienced was a rip current. I was watching a program on water safety, and discovered that what I had done as I was caught in the current was exactly what you need to do if you get trapped in one and can't escape. It's impossible to swim straight to shore and break free; you have to swim parallel and come in to shore gradually until you're past the beginning of that current. You can say it was instinct, but I know it was the Lord who gave me wisdom that I needed for the crisis I was in.
I feel that this morning, the Lord was showing me how easy it can be to drift into fear. We aren't paying attention, we're just floating along, and something unexpectedly draws us into a mindset that we weren't prepared for. It catches us by surprise, and instead of swimming away from it, we've let ourselves get caught in a powerful current. It can be overwhelming and we don't know what to do. I want to encourage anyone who's caught to call out to Jesus. He can give you wisdom to deal with your fear, wisdom on how to get free. He is your safety net, your peace. He can bring you to restful waters, where you can get back on your feet and gain strength again. He will teach you how to stay free if you will get your focus on him and keep it there. Just as he gave me wisdom to swim with the tide instead of against it, he'll show you how to swim free of fear. I wasn't afraid of being in the deep water, I was afraid of being swept away by forces that were too strong for me. In the same way, I'm not afraid to be in the depths of God, but I'm also not afraid of strong currents from the enemy or just life situations that try to drown me. I know who my Redeemer is, and that he will get me out of the most powerful tide of oppression if I reach out for him. I'm reminded of Peter, who walked on the water with the Jesus, but then looked at the waves and began to sink. He got his eyes on his situation and forgot the Lord. When he cried out, Jesus saved him. Just like you and me. We get our eyes off the Lord and onto the things that frighten us. If we cry out, like Peter did, he will rescue us and ask us why we doubted. And then give us another chance to start over, and everything we need to begin again and to succeed and do well.


I'm trusting Jesus today. As a matter of fact, I'm trusting Jesus for every day. God stopped by this morning and reminded me of how easy it is to get off track so that I could share my story, and maybe encourage someone else to look away from fear and look to him for wisdom and courage. May God bless you with his presence today.

MY THOUGHTS FOR TODAY

I am an American. I am not a Republican. I am not a Democrat. I am not a Tea Partier. I am not an Anarchist. I do vote. My heritage is French, Irish, English, Dutch, Scottish, Spanish, and Native American. I consider myself to be a patriot. I love my country. My father's people came here on the Mayflower. My lineage can be traced to the Revolutionary War on both sides; warriors from both sides fought for freedom.
On the outside, my skin is beige, my eyes are green, my hair is brown. (well, mostly; it's a bit silver too) On the inside, my blood is red, I have two lungs, two kidneys, one heart, and lots of other stuff that is the same color as every other person on earth. That's my body.


 I also have a soul. I feel, think, and make decisions with my soul. Other people do the same.


 I also have a spirit. My spirit has no earthly color, but it is full of light and bears the colors of heaven.


 I have a Father who said that I'm made in his image and likeness, and he said you are too. So what does that mean? Well, it doesn't mean that God is beige. He also isn't black, brown, red, or yellow. We all look like our Father on the inside, in the deepest place of who we are. As proud as I am of my earthly heritage, I'm so much more blessed to know that my heavenly Father loves me, and that I'm a citizen there first, before I am a citizen here. So are you. And yes, he does see our color. As a matter of fact, he loves the variety. That's why he made us so different from each other. Maybe we can begin to see ourselves in the light of his love for us. Maybe we can take a breath and try again to love the way he loves. Maybe we can stop listening to the t.v., the radio, and all the angry ones who stir up trouble, and get on God's side of the troubles our world is facing. Maybe we can listen to him and get an original thought about how we can change things instead of repeating what so and so has to say. Maybe we can even love one another as he has loved us; after all, it cost him plenty. It cost the life of Jesus. One who laid down his life for a friend. You. Me. He calls us friends.  He died for us, and before he did, he prayed, "Father, make them one, just as you and I are one." This is the prayer of Jesus for the world. This is my prayer. May it be yours too.